Hi all

Here is my story ...

married for 21 years 5 children from marriage 3 are underage.

He was ordered to leave the family home. Separated on august 2016

im a stay at home mum last 15years. He has been the main provider and my $$$ mainly for food and kids expenses.
He pays child support and nothing else.
I live in the family home with the 4 children. One of them live with him 50%

He hasnt been amicable since separation.. and I had no other choice than to file court orders to put land on the market. Was granted by the judge. We sold one and the other he refused to sign the offer of sale. I put in enforcement Orders through court and was given authority of that sale of land. We lost that buyer. Still trying to sell that land.

Our family home is mortgaged to the full due to him using equity in the home for his use. He had separate bank accounts.
When I confronted him with that he will say to me that it's his money and he can do whatever he wants and that I never provided for the family and that I don't need to know. He dealt with all the finances and all mortgages.

Ive discovered international bank transfers and offshore accounts that his deposited years ago.

We we have had conciliation conference and honestly was a waste. Trial is set for next year.

2007 he took his super out and did a SMSF. He runs the SMSF. Lost 1.5mil and the book value of it is at nil value.

I've been in contact with the bank and am under financial hardship Mainly for the land. Family home and the equity loans I've keep up to date.

My offer to to him was 70/30.

I feel so upset in knowing that he has done all this behind my back when I've been a great mum and a great wife.
And the fact that he doesn't care if the kids live on the streets is beyond me.

Im in desperate need of help and advice in what to do from anyone who's had a similar case.

He earns over $100k I'm on government payments.

Appreciate any feedback.

Thanks.

sell everything, go 50/50, that includes caring for kids , thats fair, a real good mate whos a specialist divorce lawyer in the uk told me this, his lawyer and your lawyer know what your worth, when weve had a nice parcel of that we come to an agreement, he lives amongst the worlds best footballers, drives the latest and greatest porsche, funded by hatred of seperated couples

Their is 50/50 of nil assets as his hidden it all and all paperwork is in the negative.
His SMSF lost last year 1.5mil and its book value now is nil value.

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Despair said..


My offer to to him was 70/30.

You keep the 70% on your offer to him?

Look, if both sides are belligerent on the issue will only be worse and difficult, with the lawyers taking their cut (which is not small) also.
As said above, 50/50 is better than nothing. Specially if he was already planning his way out. Super all lost (he was self managing and turned to be a bad gambler). What can a judge do? Prosecute him on poor investment decisions?

He is at least paying child support which is very good (a lot out there runs away and don't pay maintenance ever).

Divorce is tough. You need to focus in rebuilding your life (and that includes getting back to work if needed be) rather then been bitter forever.

Stand up, fight for fair and move on.

Thanks for the reply.

I am self respresenting.

Like I said above their is 50/50 of nothing.
His conciliation documents was that I take on all the debts and don't touch any of his assists or shares.

The 2 equity loans he took out he used for his own use which included shares that's is at nil value.

I find that to be very unfair. He has a high paid job. I stayed home to look after kids. I had 5 under the age of 5years old.

21 year marriage and I end up with nothing while he has his hidden.

His SMSF is all gone. 1.5mil.

I honestly don't think that I should be liable for his spending or losses during our marriage.

Very unfair.

If its 50/50 of nothing why would you fight for 70/30 of nothing ?

so you think he should be liable for what you lost while you were together?
that he should have to pay you from future earnings?
I agree he shouldn't be able to offshore stuff. But I don't think you're going to be able to get to this by yourself.
I think you should get legal advice. I daresay there's probably some form of scheme or government assistance lawyer for someone in your situation? Have you reached out to some sort of womens advocacy group and told them about your situation? I'm sure its common and I would be guessing there are government programs that can assist?

you're not going to get practical legal advice from a watersports forum.

legal aid is horribly under-resourced and as a rule won't fund parties in property matters, only for parenting disputes.

you should try to find a solicitor who will 'spec' your matter - ie agree to payment from the final settlement amount. i can almost guarantee it will go horribly wrong for you if you self-rep at trial and he has a barrister.

about 95% of property disputes settle before trial, but you won't negotiate a decent settlement without legal help to compel him to disclose his offshore property interests.

(i'm a solicitor and practised family law for 2.5 years).

If youre not a troll Despair, you should seek proper legal advice about it.

I doubt you will gain any real practical advice here.

Asking for 70/30 will not get you anywhere.

im pretty sure this is a divorce chat bot

or at least i have seen it a thousand times before.

OP 50/50 of nothing means you got nothing.
hes paying support. and probably looking after the only kid old enough to actually choose to live with him 50% of the time.
what more do you want? the 21 years? or more money that's apparently in other countries?

i'm not the only one thinking there's 50/50 blame here for the situation.
if you didn't want 5 kids you probably should not have had them.

and 100k a year isn't a well paying job for someone looking after 6 other people.
if it was 2 people looking after 4 others then maybe.

good luck with it all

but if your posting this on a random water sports forum probably where you KNOW he will read it. to rile him up i wouldn't be surprised if when the other kids became old enough to be able to choose who to live with they choose him.

i sound terrible but that's the VIBE im getting. so others probably feel that to.

Put a contract on him?

Wow guys. Geez kinda scared to write a response.

Staters im not a troll and I didn't post for him to read and get him angry. For example he hates water sports.

As for the kids he tried to get them to live with him full time by bribing them with money and telling them that instead of paying me child support he would pay them if they lived with him. With that said it didn't work out for him to well Casuse only one of those kids went with him and told him he only wanted to do 50/50. That's says a lot on what sort of person he really is.

As for the other they wanted to stay with me. Want stop them from seeing him wherever they want.

Look if he wasn't happy that's fine but at least be amicable about it.. straight up and honest.
Didnt need lawyers involved or courts we could of discussed finances, talked about all assets and division.
I do have prove of his transactions re hidden most of his transfers.

He he has made all documents look on paper to the negative figure amount.

Lawyers that I have spoken to in Perth ... they are all about the $$$. And I don't have the funds to pay a lawyers.
Legal aid doesn't help with property or finances.

Im just gutted that he has done all this behind my back. As for him he doesn't care if the family home is lost.

He has planned this for a while which I am now discovering.

Onky want what what is fair so I can start to move on with my life with my kids.

Sometimes i think that I should of been the wife that didn't care about him at all. Was a terrible mother ,Then I can tell myself, hey he is right in telling people that.

Any feedback would be great. Hey Ive come a long way, thick skinned now , so all can shoot at the target if needed.
Cant wait to see what responses I get.

Trust me ,, I'll live.

QuickDraw....

what at you mean by putting a contract on him ??

I'm sort of impressed that he and you managed to get together $1.5M in super over that time. With all the other costs of living, that's a huge amount.

That's a lot of money to lose or hide, but if he really has hidden that amount, as Stamp has pointed out, you need someone that can chase that information up for you and get him to reveal where it really went. For that amount of money, I am sure there are lawyers that are willing to chase it. Right now you have 0% of that $1.5M so what do you have to lose?

You need to read and understand Stamp's reply, otherwise you are just wasting your time.

Put a hit on him, I know a guy

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quikdrawMcgraw said..
Put a hit on him, I know a guy

So you're inciting murder.....care to withdrawMcGraw?

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Adriano said..

quikdrawMcgraw said..
Put a hit on him, I know a guy

So you're inciting murder.....care to withdrawMcGraw?

I said nothing of the sort, now go cry on mummy's boob poor baby

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Adriano said..

quikdrawMcgraw said..
Put a hit on him, I know a guy

So you're inciting murder.....care to withdrawMcGraw?

It's humour Sheldon

Thanks for the reply much appreciated.

He is still the father of my kids. So not hit man needed. Plus that's not who I am. Like I said above he has been vindictive and malicious since the day of separation and I refuse to go down to his level.

I did read stamps response and boy do I wish he was in Perth.

Finding it real hard to get someone to represent me.
So if anyone knows of someone that can help me , I'll be deeply great full.

Nova.... he had/has way more than 1.5mil in his super. But on his financial statements it's all in the negative.
You are right that yes I have 0 out of the 1.5mil so I don't have nothing to lose. I am fine with it being nothing out of nothing but when you look and read those statements ..it tells a different story.

What he thinks it that it's safe and that know one will ever find out. His answers to all questions are "I can't remember".

all will come out next year in trial. It's just sad that he is acting this way.

took a separation and finding those papers for me to see him for who he truly is.
Just wish that he could talk amicably, but he won't.

Thanks again for the feedback.

$1.5m in an smsf can't disappear. Unless the member(s) of the fund have satisfied a condition of release then the money would have to be accounted for. Either they are in another self managed fund or in another fund

A smart lawyer would start there.

Has he retired? Or why is the fund balance now at zero? The ATO regulates SMSFs and they are ruthless in their pursuit of trustees of these funds if the regulations surrounding them have been broken.

if your ex is up to no good with this then what else would the ATO be interested in. He will not want to have them asking too many questions and the information that is found can be used in family court proceedings.

Super funds are considered to be a joint asset and funds can be released from them.

Get a lawyer. Some firms would love to get hold of this and put your situation right and a fee may only be paid once a settlement is done.

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Diver said..
$1.5m in an smsf can't disappear.

Well it can. If the fund has bought 1.5m in speculative investments and they've since gone to nil.

Hi diver,

he hasnt retired he has a while before that happens. As for its value at nil, he said it was because of a bad investment decision. But if you look into the financial statements of his SMSF. Doesn't look right.

As for releasing the funds of his super his the director, proprietor and the trustee of his SMSF. (Not sure if that's even legal)

in trial it will definitely be questioned as where it's all gone as their is way more than 1.5mil lost.

He thinks I'm not entitled to any of it.

have been on the phone looking for a lawyer that will take me on. Most say that's it's to messy for them to do.

I honestly can't do it on my own, wish I could.

Thanks Guys for the feedback.

money, the root of all evil,

So you're single and like watersports?

Yeah point taken about the speculative investments, but that that's not what has happened here?

As for the funds, wherever they are, your ex isn't the one to decide your entitlement to them. Let the courts decide that. Your ex will sh!t his pants if the ATO gets involved and you will probably get what you are entitled to.

Hi diver.
Thankyou for responding.

What do you think has happened.?

And actually I do like water sports. ??

He will be under investigation for sure.

Finding the funds, when his hidden it all. I think it's going to be hard.
Like I said above .. paperwork doesn't add up.

Truly appreciate all the feedback. Thanks guys.

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myusernam said..

Adriano said..

quikdrawMcgraw said..
Put a hit on him, I know a guy

So you're inciting murder.....care to withdrawMcGraw?

It's humour Sheldon

That's what Don Burke said.

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Despair said..


have been on the phone looking for a lawyer that will take me on. Most say that's it's to messy for them to do.

Keep going. You have no choice unless you accept the situation as it is.

"Most" say its too messy. What about the rest?

You have no money to pay them, and there are no other options. If the chances are decent to extract money from you or your husband, someone will take it. If the information is correct, they will weigh up the costs and risk and decide if its worth pursuing. If its not worth it, maybe your chances of success are not that high.

Maybe you could write a book on how he has done this &sell it to other blokes getting divorced and make millions .

Question is don't know how his done it.

lawyers the ones that looked into it said it will cost thousands to find all that he has hidden. All say that his bad decisions in managing his super has put it to nil.
they say tracking his international transfers and offshore accounts is very costly.

And as as for him given full disclosure .. he won't.

He knows what his done.

Im so confused and lost.

Thnaks guys for the the advice and help.