Sharks and windsurfers can co habitate but be warned of turtles. This is a classic I am sure a few of you have heard.

A story from Florida which amused me: Florida scuba divers' underwater nightmare: 'WE WERE RAPED BY A SEX-CRAZED TURTLE!' ISLAMORADA, Fl. -- A huge, sex-crazed sea turtle is prowling the waters off the Florida Keys -- raping and molesting horrified scuba divers! Lawmen say the giant beast has already "raped" one man twice and has sexually attacked another. "This is every bit as terrifying as Jaws," said a Florida Marine Patrol officer. "Both divers were manhandled and then molested by the 300-pound turtle." Real estate agent Bruce Gernon was diving in the Upper Keys when he was mounted and pushed to the bottom by a huge "buck" turtle that divers have nicknamed "Crazy Charlie." "The damn thing really overpowered me," Gernon told The NEWS. "I either looked real good to him or he thought I was another turtle." Gernon, 34, wrestled himself free, but the oversexed Don Juan of the deep was determined to make love to him. "The thing grabbed me with its flippers and tried to pin me to the bottom," Gernon said. "All the while, the stupid turtle probed me on my backside." Fearing for his life, Gernon twisted out of the frisky turtle's mighty grasp and made his way to the surface. "I was lucky I weigh 210 and used to wrestle," Gernon added. "Otherwise, I might not have been able to get away." Another Islamorada diver, who weighs only 120 pounds, wasn't as lucky. He was "raped" twice by the same barnacled giant. The sex-starved turtle wrapped its flippers around the diver, who wishes to remain anonymous, and dragged him to the bottom. "I understand the turtle mounted the guy for about five to 10 minutes," Gernon said. "It's a good thing he had air in his tank or he could have drowned." Shaken by the harrowing experience, the terrified diver abandoned his diving equipment and swam to his boat. "We've been the butt of a few jokes around town since it happened," Gernon said. A couple of bars have put up 'wanted' posters for the rapist. "It was a scary experience, but now that it's over I'm trying to adjust to the fact that I was a turtle's love toy." Florida Marine Patrol officer Rod Stevens said he wasn't aware there were "turtles swimming around violating humans, but we're certainly going to look into it." "The human population is not normally the proper mating tool for turtles, who don't have sex just for the heck of it," Stevens said. Gernon and the other victims can consider themselves fortunate. "When a male turtle gets into a romantic mood, he will mate for several days at a time," Stevens said.

Bob Epstein, an outdoor writer who broke the story in an Islamorada weekly, said he has since been contacted by at least 10 other divers who have been sexually molested by the turtle. I was slightly disturbed by the man who had been raped twice. Could he not believe it the first time and had to go back to check?

Sweet dreams flipper. Imagine what that turtle would do to a dolphin.

i will protect you flipper

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h20 said...

Sharks and windsurfers can co habitate but be warned of turtles. This is a classic I am sure a few of you have heard.

A story from Florida which amused me: Florida scuba divers' underwater nightmare: 'WE WERE RAPED BY A SEX-CRAZED TURTLE!' ISLAMORADA, Fl. -- A huge, sex-crazed sea turtle is prowling the waters off the Florida Keys -- raping and molesting horrified scuba divers! Lawmen say the giant beast has already "raped" one man twice and has sexually attacked another. "This is every bit as terrifying as Jaws," said a Florida Marine Patrol officer. "Both divers were manhandled and then molested by the 300-pound turtle." Real estate agent Bruce Gernon was diving in the Upper Keys when he was mounted and pushed to the bottom by a huge "buck" turtle that divers have nicknamed "Crazy Charlie." "The damn thing really overpowered me," Gernon told The NEWS. "I either looked real good to him or he thought I was another turtle." Gernon, 34, wrestled himself free, but the oversexed Don Juan of the deep was determined to make love to him. "The thing grabbed me with its flippers and tried to pin me to the bottom," Gernon said. "All the while, the stupid turtle probed me on my backside." Fearing for his life, Gernon twisted out of the frisky turtle's mighty grasp and made his way to the surface. "I was lucky I weigh 210 and used to wrestle," Gernon added. "Otherwise, I might not have been able to get away." Another Islamorada diver, who weighs only 120 pounds, wasn't as lucky. He was "raped" twice by the same barnacled giant. The sex-starved turtle wrapped its flippers around the diver, who wishes to remain anonymous, and dragged him to the bottom. "I understand the turtle mounted the guy for about five to 10 minutes," Gernon said. "It's a good thing he had air in his tank or he could have drowned." Shaken by the harrowing experience, the terrified diver abandoned his diving equipment and swam to his boat. "We've been the butt of a few jokes around town since it happened," Gernon said. A couple of bars have put up 'wanted' posters for the rapist. "It was a scary experience, but now that it's over I'm trying to adjust to the fact that I was a turtle's love toy." Florida Marine Patrol officer Rod Stevens said he wasn't aware there were "turtles swimming around violating humans, but we're certainly going to look into it." "The human population is not normally the proper mating tool for turtles, who don't have sex just for the heck of it," Stevens said. Gernon and the other victims can consider themselves fortunate. "When a male turtle gets into a romantic mood, he will mate for several days at a time," Stevens said.

Bob Epstein, an outdoor writer who broke the story in an Islamorada weekly, said he has since been contacted by at least 10 other divers who have been sexually molested by the turtle. I was slightly disturbed by the man who had been raped twice. Could he not believe it the first time and had to go back to check?

As long as its consensual.... I mean he want back for more didn't he?

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When I was in Geraldton over X-mas a woman got attacked by a Sea-Lion in town!
au.news.yahoo.com/sea-lion-attack-8583104.html

Wow... I'm keeping away from Geraldton. Sounds dangerous.

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h20 said...

He was "raped" twice by the same barnacled giant.

Can't have been too upset if he went back for more?

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"We've been the butt of a few jokes around town since it happened,"

Didn't see that coming!