I have only just started sailing and my wife is already beating my eardrums in on going out sailing and leaving all my homely responsibilities to her. In fact if was a cause of an argument we had last week about me going out and leaving her to deal with 2 young children on the weekend.

Well I told her...

"This is the only life I am going to get, and I dont want to wake up one day when I'm 70 and realise that I have wasted it. You know all the miserable marriages you hear about? They are miserable people that have nothing outside their own relationship and their family. They put their life on hold to raise children and find any excuse to have a row, becuase beyond that they have nothing, and if you knew whats good for you you would find something you love too and get your teeth stuck into it, because if you don't, one day you will wake up old, tired and miserable and realise that although you have raised a family, you have also successfully managed to pi$$ you own life away..."

She hasn't said a word to me since about sailing, and I noticed her looking up TAFE courses for herself on the internet. Could this have been the speil of the century??? Hope it lasts...

You might get 'spiel of the century'...but you won't win awards for tactfulness!

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Sailhack said...

You might get 'spiel of the century'...but you won't win awards for tactfulness!

It's called tough love

Buy the kids wetsuits and offer/threaten to take them sailing with you. You wife will either be horrified at the thought of her kids bobbing around in the bay and will insist that you leave them at home (problem solved), or she will be delighted at the prospect (and then you've got to work out how to tow along the kids, which might improve your sail and board control).

It's a dilemma.

But always insist that she's allowed to spend on lingerie what you spend on gear.

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MikeyS said...

Buy the kids wetsuits and offer/threaten to take them sailing with you. You wife will either be horrified at the thought of her kids bobbing around in the bay and will insist that you leave them at home (problem solved), or she will be delighted at the prospect (and then you've got to work out how to tow along the kids, which might improve your sail and board control).

exactly what I did!

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But always insist that she's allowed to spend on lingerie what you spend on gear.

I'll pass on that one - besides...I mainly buy second-hand gear - brrrrrr

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jermaldan said...

I have only just started sailing and my wife is already beating my eardrums in on going out sailing and leaving all my homely responsibilities to her. In fact if was a cause of an argument we had last week about me going out and leaving her to deal with 2 young children on the weekend.

Well I told her...

"This is the only life I am going to get, and I dont want to wake up one day when I'm 70 and realise that I have wasted it. You know all the miserable marriages you hear about? They are miserable people that have nothing outside their own relationship and their family. They put their life on hold to raise children and find any excuse to have a row, becuase beyond that they have nothing, and if you knew whats good for you you would find something you love too and get your teeth stuck into it, because if you don't, one day you will wake up old, tired and miserable and realise that although you have raised a family, you have also successfully managed to pi$$ you own life away..."

She hasn't said a word to me since about sailing, and I noticed her looking up TAFE courses for herself on the internet. Could this have been the speil of the century??? Hope it lasts...

Its good to clear the decks early - although in my experience you'll pay very dearly once you get a real taste for it and start secretly planning your weekends around weather forecasts. She's on to you - and the TAFE courses could be more dangerous than you think. What if she selects a course that requires a practical element on a weekend? A really windy Sunday - 3pm. Seabreeze time...she's having a blast with her new 'student' mates in the 'Woodwork for Winning Women' class and you're babysitting, looking out of the window at the arching tree branches, leaves blowing down the street? This is the part of windsurfing that isn't covered in either 'Beginner to Winner' or any other windsurfing instruction medium and probably causes more grief than all of the core skills combined. A chapter on subterfuge is required, an artform amongst more seasoned windsurfers and a skill that I've been very gradually refining ever since I fell into a similar spiral of wind-related bickering within a fortnight of buying my first board. After a year of patient bridge-building, a sense of calm prevails - despite the introduction of baby. And not a woodwork class in sight. I think that you may want to reconsider your strategy and discourage this sudden interest in 'learning'. Romance (on, say a Tuesday), emptying the bins on time, the occasional special dinner at a Sizzler and only checking Seabreeze when she's at Coles is a starting point.

Well if your wife does find a coarse to do it will be on the same days the wind is blowing.
So you will have to mined the kids while she is doing what she needs. therefore back to the argument of you are always doing coarses and not doing house hold duties.
I don't know it is all a crazy world, hang on the winds up I'm out of here I hope my wife doesn't see me leave.
walt

I read somewhere once that to be happy in life a person needs 3 things,
To be content in their job, to be in a happy relationship and to have an interest outside of these 2 areas.
My wife is a psychologist and fortunately she believes in this as well. Her passion is painting and so luckily she can look after the kids whilst painting. Perhaps suggest your missus takes up art?
When the forecast isn't looking so good offer to take the kids out and give her free time and pray the bureau don't get it wrong. Once you have earnt brownie points you should be right to go when the winds up. Good luck.

(Loved the comment about lingerie)

Does anyone else have more relationship vs windsurfing clashes during summer than winter (assuming you sail in both)?

I was terrible over christmas with watching the graphs on watkins to see if the seabreeze was good - this involved watching the graph from 2pm to 6pm most days.

Winter is loads better. The BOM bets its mortgage on it being windy on a given day, usually 3 days ahead, and then it happens. Ok it's colder but it's so much better for relationships..

Ginger Pom is this your recon before popping the question.

Just make sure you choose an understanding one first up.... and keep a very accurate track of brownie points (as long as you can build then up)

This was also in The Age recently- just trade sex for windsurfing credits and the work around home can be board and sail repairs.

http://www.essence.com/relationships/men/horny_housework_cleaning_might_help_sex.php

The key to a successful marriage is to do what the wife wants.

However you may end up feeling miserable. The only thing I can suggest is to help around the house more, do the washing up, cook dinner, help with the kids etc on a very regular basis. Its unlikely many women would not appreciate that and in return they would be a b!tch if they didn't let you enjoy windsurfing when its windy.

Good luck.

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ginger pom said...

Does anyone else have more relationship vs windsurfing clashes during summer than winter (assuming you sail in both)?

I was terrible over christmas with watching the graphs on watkins to see if the seabreeze was good - this involved watching the graph from 2pm to 6pm most days.

I accept no responsibility for relationship breakdowns (its in the fine print at the bottom of the page).

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windjunky said...

ginger pom said...

Does anyone else have more relationship vs windsurfing clashes during summer than winter (assuming you sail in both)?

I was terrible over christmas with watching the graphs on watkins to see if the seabreeze was good - this involved watching the graph from 2pm to 6pm most days.

I accept no responsibility for relationship breakdowns (its in the fine print at the bottom of the page).

It would be good if the BOM said when they didn't know. I mean they ALWAYS do a forecast... what if it's really unpredictable...

They could say "Not really sure, it could go one of two ways. It's not worth risking the brownie points.." or "We're so sure this is going to happen that you can tell your missus that you'll be gone all weekend. And book some physio for Monday cos it's going to hurt"

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h20 said...

Ginger Pom is this your recon before popping the question.

Just make sure you choose an understanding one first up.... and keep a very accurate track of brownie points (as long as you can build then up)

This was also in The Age recently- just trade sex for windsurfing credits and the work around home can be board and sail repairs.

http://www.essence.com/relationships/men/horny_housework_cleaning_might_help_sex.php

The survey found a link between how much cleaning people said they did vs how much sex they said they had...

I'm saying, if your prone to exaggeration then you'll probably over-estimate both together.. the alternative is actually testing it by cleaning the house and that is unpalatable

bring back the GOOD OL DAYS.

No its not happened yet.
I went out on the babies due date
Maybe somethings buildling up

So my going out sailing became an issue again so I bit the bullet...

Me: "I am selling my kit, I just dont get the time"
Wife: "What? Why"
Me: "Cause me going sailings always an issue, and face it, I cant schedule the wind around your plans, so I may as well throw in the towel"
Wife: "Well if you feel that way about it..."
Me: "I'm getting a motor bike!"
Wife: "Oh no! You can go sailing as much as you want but you are not getting a bike"
Me: "Theres, nothing you can say to change my mind. I can ride to work and back and it will not affect your schedule, and besides I will save money on city parking"
Wife: "You can go sailing every day for all I care, but there is no way in hell you are getting a motor bike, you have kids and a family""
Me: "But eveytime i go out you are going to get pi$$ed at me..."
Wife: "I promise i will not get pissed. I rather you be out sailing then dead under a truck."
Me: "OK fine, but if start giving me evils or making me feel guilty for going out I am selling the kit and getting a motorbike"
Wife: "Not gonna happen."

What a bluff! (I had no intention of getting a bike!) Luckily she doesn't read seabreeze!

sounds like your in the bad books there son. you better be carefull or she might snapp chicks can be real nasty

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jibe9 said...

sounds like your in the bad books there son. you better be carefull or she might snapp chicks can be real nasty

This I know only too well!!!

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jermaldan said...

So my going out sailing became an issue again so I bit the bullet...

Me: "I am selling my kit, I just dont get the time"
Wife: "What? Why"
Me: "Cause me going sailings always an issue, and face it, I cant schedule the wind around your plans, so I may as well throw in the towel"
Wife: "Well if you feel that way about it..."
Me: "I'm getting a motor bike!"
Wife: "Oh no! You can go sailing as much as you want but you are not getting a bike"
Me: "Theres, nothing you can say to change my mind. I can ride to work and back and it will not affect your schedule, and besides I will save money on city parking"
Wife: "You can go sailing every day for all I care, but there is no way in hell you are getting a motor bike, you have kids and a family""
Me: "But eveytime i go out you are going to get pi$$ed at me..."
Wife: "I promise i will not get pissed. I rather you be out sailing then dead under a truck."
Me: "OK fine, but if start giving me evils or making me feel guilty for going out I am selling the kit and getting a motorbike"
Wife: "Not gonna happen."

What a bluff! (I had no intention of getting a bike!) Luckily she doesn't read seabreeze!

Well done - sounds like you had the cover story perfectly worked out. The trick now though moves on to time on the water as opposed to actually getting on the water itself (which you've successfully navigated). I suggest you build this up gradually, 3 hours turns into 4, a "quick" saturday sail turns into a cheeky half day and before you know it you'll be at Inverloch all day! Glad you nailed that TAFE business too! Who'd cook your dinner after a full days sailing?

Got home from work yesturday and my wife said:

Wife: "Weather is nice today"
Me: "Yeah - pretty warm"
Wife: "You should go sailling"
Me: "Nah, theres no wind"
Wife: "maybe tomorrow"
me: "Can't, going out for beers with the guys"
Wife: "Friday then?"
Me: "Friday sounds good."

...and another phone conversation today:

Wife: "Think we could go check out the sales on saturday or sunday at Chadstone?"
Me: "We'll see"
Wife: "That is if theres no wind. Maybe we can go early in the morning? You can go sailing after that?"

huh....

I am starting to feel like a prick. I think that she is using reverse psychology to make me feel like an a$$hole. Or she may still be worried about me going and getting on a bike. I need to test the boundries of this new found generosity, it seems suspicious.

Nah, that sounds like one of our conversations @home. The missus knows that she & kids rate on the top of my list, but she also knows that when the wind's about...I'm either off in dreamland, or grumpy as hell if I'm not sailing, I don't mean to be, just happens. A couple of hours on the water & I'm good to go!

Sounds like your relationship is growing & balancing out...

...either that, or she's up to something?!?[}:)]

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Sailhack said...



...either that, or she's up to something?!?[}:)]

How could I have missed it.... SHOPPING CHADSTONE!!!! She wants clothes!!! Sneaky B.....

Oh well not like I can say no... I mean... I probably spent more on gear in the past 2 months than she has on clothes. She just doesnt understand that the gear is an investment... and clothes are... I give up!!!!

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jermaldan said...
me: "Can't, going out for beers with the guys"

Hang on did you say you put off sailing for beers ?!
The suns going down at 8.30pm or earlier,
plenty of time to go out after that,
or better still drink whilst sailing,
isn't that what a Camelbacks for?

She taught me to windsurf and we sail together as often as possible, so I REALLY DO feel for you guys.

She just said the winds up so gotta go.

MADINC

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jermaldan said...

How could I have missed it.... SHOPPING CHADSTONE!!!! She wants clothes!!! Sneaky B.....


Kawindsurf : is that wife of yours still nagging ya dude?????

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oldcodger said...

She taught me to windsurf and we sail together as often as possible, so I REALLY DO feel for you guys.

She just said the winds up so gotta go.

MADINC

YOU LUCKY BASTARD!

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kawindsurf said...

jermaldan said...

How could I have missed it.... SHOPPING CHADSTONE!!!! She wants clothes!!! Sneaky B.....


Kawindsurf : is that wife of yours still nagging ya dude?????

Not like before. Now she uses reverse psychology to make me feel guilty for going out.

I come home and she is ironing with one hand, holding the baby in the other, got food on the table whilst the 7year old is bouncing off the walls. She asks wth a suspicious smile "How was windsurfing, did you have fun?"

If you saw it you would feel bad too.

Has anyone's marriage failed beaucase of the windsurfing?

My current strategy is brainwashing my sons into loving windsurfing and teaching them so that i can take them with me when they get older. Warrick at RPS is hooking me up with a 1.5 Kids rig so with some luck the 7 year old will catch on.

Does any company make neoprene baby carriers that you can strap to your back...? Just asking

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jermaldan said...

Has anyone's marriage failed beaucase of the windsurfing?

Not yet...went sailing on Sunday, and took off to work early yesterday so I could knock off early & go for a sail.

Like you - Got home from work after driving past the guys rigging up in the usual spot, flew in door, kissed wife & kids whilst frantically trying to get into t-shirt & shorts...young fella started grade 1 and was stoked that he'd already gone up a level in reading, so gave him a hug with a "well done dude!" comment...flew out door, threw gear in ute & was reversing out driveway when I saw the wife, who'd been getting dinner ready, with both young kids sitting on her lap whilst youngun was reading his reader...miserable bugger I am!

I only just made it home in time to see kids to bed...

...but they get plenty of my attention when there's no wind, like tonight - if that's any consolation?!?

"Does any company make neoprene baby carriers that you can strap to your back...? Just asking"

Can't you just find a baby cot that floats and cobble together a sail out a plastic bag and some metal coathangers?

If you get a flat bottomed cot the lil beast might even get it planing!

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KaptainK said...

"Does any company make neoprene baby carriers that you can strap to your back...? Just asking"

Can't you just find a baby cot that floats and cobble together a sail out a plastic bag and some metal coathangers?

If you get a flat bottomed cot the lil beast might even get it planing!

Right!!!! Off to the shed!!!