Hi Sue ,I really think its a luff pocket and cam issue ,not you

I dread dropping my race sails in the water so quick water starts it is .
Next sail up grade look at the NCX or Neilpryde Speedsters ,really fast sails
and easier to waterstart ,we tested these sails against race in WA 2 years back again each other had 4 of us
and 1-2 knots slower ,with our watches
stability was pretty good .with 100 % carbon mast .a lot nicer in chop and easier to hang on
in hard chop some times the no cam was as quick as no sheeting off was required .
the Pryde speedster is a awesome sail .
64 your still youngish ,