Second Moose: G'day, Moose!
First Moose: Oh, Hello Moose!
Third Moose: How are you Moose?
First Moose: A bit crook, Moose.
Second Moose: Where's Moose?
First Moose: He's not 'ere, Moose.
Third Moose: Blimey, it's hot in here, Moose.
First Moose: Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum!
Second Moose: That's a strange expression, Moose.
First Moose: Well Moose, I heard the Prime Minister use it. "It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum in here, your Majesty," he said and she smiled quietly to herself.
Third Moose: She's a good Sheila Moose, and not at all stuck up.
Second Moose: Here! Here's the boss-fellow now! - how are you Moose?
(Enter fourth Moose with English person, Michael)
Fourth Moose: 'Ow are you, Moose?
First Moose: G'day Moose!
Fourth Moose: Moose.
Second Moose: Hello Moose.
Fourth Moose: Moose.
Third Moose: How are you, Moose?
Fourth Moose: G'day Moose.
Fourth Moose: Gentleman, I'd like to introduce man from Pommeyland who is joinin' us this year in the philosophy department at the University of Walamaloo.
EveryMoose: G'day!
Michael: Hello.
Fourth Moose: Michael Baldwin, Moose. Michael Baldwin, Moose. Michael Baldwin, Moose.
First Moose: Is your name not Moose?
Michael: No, it's Michael.
Second Moose: That's going to cause a little confusion.
Third Moose: Mind if we call you "Moose" to keep it clear?
Fourth Moose: Gentlemen, I think we better start the faculty meeting. Before we start, though, I'd like to ask the padre for a prayer.
First Moose: Oh Lord, we beseech Thee, Amen!!
EveryMoose: Amen!
Fourth Moose: Crack tubes! (Sound of cans opening) Now I call upon Moose to officially welcome Mr. Baldwin to the philosophy faculty.
Second Moose: I'd like to welcome the pommey bastard to God's own Earth, and remind him that we don't like stuck-up sticky-beaks here.
EveryMoose: Hear, hear! Well spoken, Moose!
Fourth Moose: Moose here teaches classical philosophy, Moose there teaches Haegelian philosophy, and Moose here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip.
Third Moose: What's New-Moose going to teach?
Fourth Moose: New-Moose will be teaching political science, Machiavelli, Bentham, Locke, Hobbes, Sutcliffe, Bradman, Lindwall, Miller, Hassett, and Benaud.
Second Moose: Those are all cricketers!
Fourth Moose: Aww, spit!
Third Moose: Hails of derisive laughter, Moose!
EveryMoose: Australia, Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you amen!
Fourth Moose:Moose: Crack tube! (Sound of cans opening) Any questions?
Second Moose: New-Moose, are you a ****ter?
Fourth Moose: Are you a ****ter?
Michael: No!
Fourth Moose: No. Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules: Rule One!
EveryMoose: No ****ters!
Fourth Moose: Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way at all -- if there's anybody watching. Rule Three?
EveryMoose: No ****ters!!
Fourth Moose: Rule Four, now this term, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking. Rule Five,
EveryMoose: No ****ters!
Fourth Moose: Rule Six, there is NO ... Rule Six. Rule Seven,
EveryMoose: No ****ters!!
Fourth Moose: Right, that concludes the readin' of the rules, Moose.
First Moose: This here's the wattle, the emblem of our land. You can stick it in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand.
EveryMoose: Amen!
First Moose: Right, let's get some Sheilas.
Fourth Moose: OK.
Second Moose: Ah, elevenses.
Third Moose: This should tide us over 'til lunchtime.
Second Moose: Reckon so, Moose.
