Guinness cans , really cold but only have 2 or 4 and James Squire Pilsner or Porter

Rumour has it that if you drink enough of these babies then rub the empties a genie emerges in two bamboo halves for portability.... If you attach the halves you get a seaworthy Nozza, enigmatic president of the Greenroom.
I am only on my first, but I shall see what I can do for the team.