Presidential Decree Number 15 ..... 30 June 2015 ..... Ladies & Gentlebastards ..... his pristine worthiness of the most wickedly sculpted magnificent drop knee turn , The Asea (President of the Greenroom Beergarden & it's Associated Departments of Froth , Stoke , Delicious Everlasting Boardporn , Beer , Roasted Animals , the Footy & Smoking Hot Goldie Chickybabes) .... wishes to convey the following comments .....
1. Being known as the Gold Coast Phantom , the Asea has spotted MACAHA in two spots - lurking around Kirra & also at his favourite coffee house at Cooly complete with the famous German Krautmobile with boards on da roof .... nothing goes unseen by the Asea
2. For the abomination of trying to sack the Asea ..... MACAHA will be decimated , smashed & unmercifully annhiliated in the most outrageously sublime manner at his homey Little Marley .... he may also be dacked & legrope wedgied
3. Bingo Halls ???????? pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffttttttttttttttttttttttttt ...... the Asea has shagged everything with even the faint remotest of pulses let alone heartbeats ... his Lordship sweats expensive French silk knickers
4. Gleaming new Beergarden Presidential Porn has been taken delivery of ..... so feast your eye sockets thee unwashed heathens of still waters:
5. This creature of niceness will be christened ASAP ..... dimensions will be revealed tomoz .....
6. Further Boardporn filthiness is on the way .....
7. MACAHA ..... get a big fat Mango up you son .... you will pay a hefty price old cock
8. It's on ..... and the Prez is into it .... if it's glass he wants it .... if it's good he'll smoke it ...... if it's dodgy he'll flog it ..... if there's Porn to be found he'll sniff it out like a champion Truffle hound ..... if it smells nice it's sinful ....
9. The president advises that he has no internet atm - he was shagging Miss Broadbeach & her sisters like a Demon over the Desk and the bloody PC thingo fell off onto the floor and it's fritz the bastard
10. Rock on Brothers .... I am da man with da plan ..... yeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh !!!!
***** That is all *****