Last week at the Mandurah Ironman I popped to the toilets to have a pre-race nervous wee and somehow manged to drop my car keys down the toilet - one of those festival types. They hit the bottom of the bowl and kept on going.. I stood there in disbelief for a good 10 minutes. Luckily the organisers found a cleaner to come and help. She turned up with a bin bag and when I asked what that was for she smiled and told me I had to put my arm in it and dig for my keys. If I was lucky they'd be on the surface, if I was unlucky they would be underneath a solid foot of sh!t, piss and toilet paper. I was unlucky. Easily the most disgusting thing I've ever had to do. Ever. However I eventually retrieved my keys and received a round of applause from the small crowd that had gathered, intrigued by my predicament.

If you can beat that for stupidity I would like to hear your story, so I don't feel so bad.