As a further update; the boss's car is getting fixed, mine is probably a write-off and the insurance company is paying out enough for me to replace my windsurfing kit pretty well - thank you HBF.
I feel no emotion whatsoever towards the thieves, positive or negative. They're almost certainly gonna have short sh!tty lives. We'll carry on with ours after all the inconvenience. I'll be windsurfing and they never will, despite the fact they have a pretty nice set of wave gear!
On the morning I woke up to find the back door open and our cars gone, I went up stairs to find my kids safely asleep in bed, and 99.9% of my world was intact.
If I could just fix that subject line that I stuffed up, life would be perfect!