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Borris said...Full respect.
Peto would go

Hey fake Boris, don't try to imitate perfection!
A 'Borris' that needs a double 'r', is obviously compensating for the lack of something else.
But I don't blame you for using my photo. I am a very handsome specimen. I am happy to share my genetic gifts with you if it brings joy to your life.
Sincerely,
Boris (one 'r', three nuts!)