...Hi

Apologies, I'm not a windsurfer but this seems like the right place to get an answer to my question.

My daughter is nineteen years old and the apple of my eye. Last weekend she went on a date with a windsurfer called Steve. He seems like a nice enough guy but I'd like to get a character reference.

He drives a white station wagon and looks, well, how do put this without sounding like Eddie McGuire, like a monkey. .. indeed his Facebook page has a picture of him dressed as a monkey on it.

Apparently he recently came second in Australia at a competition in Cairns. Does this mean that he is wealthy and able to keep my daughter in the style that she has become accustomed too? Does it mean that he has groupies and will desert my daughter for the next girl who shows up on his doorstep begging for loving?

I hope the fathers among you understand and are able to give this man a solid reference.

Also, i overheard that he is taking her to Point Impossible this weekend. I presume this is a beach and not a euphemism.

I've heard that Point Impossible is no good for windsurfing on a northerly...

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sav911 said...
I've heard that Point Impossible is no good for windsurfing on a northerly...

And there's a nude beach around the corner. Found that one session with ginger pom ... Gee that sounds wrong.

Good luck concerned dad. Hope he leaves all the moves on the water for your sake.

I hope he's not taking her to all the way to Point Impossible just to show her his Flakka!

She's too old for him.

To Whom It May Concern
Steven, can always be found
hard at work at the beach. Steve works independently, without
wasting company time and talking to girls on the beach. Steve never
thinks twice about assisting fellow sailors, and he always
finishes given assignments on time? Often he takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Steve is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field.. I firmly believe that Steve can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type that cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I truly recommend that Steve be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.
Yours Sincerely
Addendum?
Steve was standing over my shoulder while I wrote this report.
Kindly re-read only every second line.

Gerald
I have a 19 year old daughter too. I'd much rather her be going out with a windsurfer who dresses up like a monkey (occasionally) than someone who's an absolute banana. He's a windsurfer, not a kiter, so that should be a sufficient character reference in itself. And if he has **** through his ears and the odd tat, don't let it worry you. I'm getting used to that being the norm- as long as he treat's your daughter with respect.

As long as she is happy for him to spend his money on new gear, rather than on her, then she'll be fine. He won't be rich, but he'll probably have a lifestyle that you and I envy, and that we would have chosen if we worried less about keeping our offspring in a style to which we thought they would like to become accustomed. A different generational mindset perhaps.

And better he's taking her to Point Impossible than Point Really-Really Easy. Many more secluded car parks at the latter.

By the way, Steve will be along to this website shortly.

Dear Dad (Gerald Skull)

Please don't be concerned for your daughter as we know Steve very well.
We have employed him now for a full season and we have a fair understanding how he interacts with young ladies.

We firmly believe your daughter is in safe hands as we have information Steve "bats" for the other team.

How do we know?

He's always greatly concerned about his looks and that of his gear. He like's doing the vacuuming and windows when he's working in the shop (see pic) and he's brought in the occasional boyfriend the last few months. (see pic )

He also seems to spend a fair bit of time in the company of wealthy older gentlemen, the name Rosobot come to mind. (not sure what he means with "Steve is standing over my sholder")
The gorilla suit is only for work purposes, Steve has a second night time job in a all- male strip club.

So it is safe to say Steve won't actually get your daughter to "point impossible" this weekend.

Hope this helps ; )


Steve in his element


nice, flowers for his boyfriend

The Zu know's Steve very well Really Paul! Anything you want to tell us?

Gerald,

I have seen Steve rig up, and with the amount of time that its takes him to get the his mast in the luff sleave, it will be over before it started.

On the other hand he is happy to ride other peoples gear so long as he doesn't have to buy it at the end of the day. He quite happily switches between big and little gear, but I prefers them little because he can throw it around a bit easier.

He is pretty rough on his gear and I wouldn't want him anywhere near mine, and I definitly wouldn't want to get his seconds. (I was offered but decided against it).

What are we talking about again?

Is this guy for real or what? Flaky is a legend your daughter is doing well for herself. If your concerned why don't you just pop on in to the zu board sports and get to know steve for yourself. Also im sure when your daughter no doubt finds out from steve that you are chasing a character reference she will be thrilled to bits with you haha Also buy something at the Zu

I hear Steve just updated his Facebook status to 'single again due to dad of girlfriend being an obsessive stalker'!

Thank you for all your responses.

I feel that I should update you with recent events. I returned home early from work today to find the white station wagon outside my house. I walk home from the station so my arrival at the house was quiet.

Upon entering the house, I heard strange noises (barking?) coming from my daughter's room. I knocked and entered only to catch a glimpse of Steve in mid air naked jumping from the desk onto the bed whilst swearing (in Dutch I believe). My daughter was on the bed on all fours and wearing nothing except an Alsatian mask. I now believe that the barking was coming from her. It was pretty difficult to know how to react so I fell into shocked silence. They were so involved that they did not notice me, so I closed the door and tried to unsee what I had just seen.

I am now in the pub. I have a large glass of whisky and I'm typing this into my phone.

My reflections are as follows..

I have to say that he had achieved impressive height - I believe this must translate to impressive "pop" on the water - and I'm pretty sure that my daughter has found a kindred spirit.

You've all given him good references and providing he is not gay and treats her better than his kit, ie does not drag her across the reef, land her flat or lend her to his mates at the end of a session, then I'm tempted to let them be.

This man you spoke of learnt his skills from yoda-like experts in a windsurfing oasis overseas. We are sure that these skills also covered the rules of courting. Over there some regions do have polygamist views so she may have some good sister-hood friendships develop over the years.

However, on the up side the rules of the region according to Wikipedia allow for her to have a quick exit (just make sure you check any conditions on the prenup)
Historically a woman could only divorce ?from her husband in the case of his impotence or by choosing the 'option of puberty' (this will be safe bet, as some of his insane windsurfing moves are likely to castrate him in the foreseeable future). Since the 1920s reforms to this also allowed the following specifics regarding legitimate grounds for a woman requesting a divorce:
1.?If her husband failed to provide maintenance. (if he takes on a professional windsurfing career this will come with the pro tour territory and lack of prize money)
2.?If her husband was found to have a dangerous or contagious disease. (likely after spending several years of travelling and sharing hockey change rooms and long drives with Rosobot that he would have more positive tests than the tour de france starting line in the 90?s)
3.?If she was deserted by her husband. (this to is the life of a windsurfing widow)
4.?If she was maltreated by her husband. (unlikely to be maltreated as he is a super nice guy, but she has the top three to fall back on)

Funny you should mention dogs, because the other week at Green Point Tao brought Ziggy down (Ziggy is a resident dog at Zu) and every time Steve came near him Ziggy would put his tail between his legs and whimper. I thought that perhaps Steve stepped on his tail a few times at the Zu, but this makes much more sense now.

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GeraldSkull said...
[br]... I'm not a windsurfer ...

Perhaps you should examine your own shortcomings before passing judgement on Steve?

Hey Mr Skull!

I understand that you may be some what distressed that your 'apple of your eye' hes been swept away from you, but guess what, it happens!
I may not be the Knight in shining armor but i will be able to show your daughter a good time.
Things have clearly changed since you were a child, back in the dark ages it was common for you to hold the door open for a lady, throwing jackets on the ground so their shoes dont get dirty and even paying for her meals.

I, do none of this...

Instead i expect she buys me dinner on the odd occasion, i expect she gets a round of drinks. If you think my way of thinking is un-orthodox i encourage you to get out more, get a life.

I don't mean to be rude, i'm just trying to get you to realize what these Gen-Y kids are all about. Yes, i am a professional athlete, and being with this groupies are an endless choice.

If your daughter passes the 2 week test then yes... i will date her.

If not... well, she is just another number.

You should be fortunate enough that i have spent (a bit over) 1 week with your daughter, things are going well, but she does need to make improvements to satisfy my lifestyle.
Here are some of the following things she must do to pass my test:

-Do the laundry
-Ensure that every morning i wake up to the smell of German bacon
-Place my ever growing photo collection in chronological order
-Cook pasta to perfection
-Not complain about 'the mess in the garage'
-When ever i arrive, ensure that the humidity in the room is set to exactly 45% - i dont like dry skin.

If you want more detail, please PM me for the rest of the list.

With regards to what happened this afternoon, i have no excuse. We thought you were out, and had enough time to do the 'Horizontal Folk Dance'

You should be blessed in seeing my massive 'red line'.

Maybe when your daughter introduces us we can put this all behind us, and ill teach you how to front loop.

Take care Mr. Skull.

Steve

It's Mr Skullcrusher actually. Seabreeze has a character limit. Not that I'm angry with you anymore son. It's great to have you as part of our family

This photo was taken in March before her life was turned around by your passionate affair. The love has clearly gone from her eyes.





She was happier than I've seen her in years this afternoon

You're welcome around our house this Sunday. I'll come around and pick you up, I'm picking her two older brothers up from kickboxing practice at eleven so I'll pick you up at twelve... unless you'd rather be somewhere else on Sunday.

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GeraldSkull said...

You've all given him good references and providing he is not gay and treats her better than his kit, ie does not drag her across the reef, land her flat or lend her to his mates at the end of a session, then I'm tempted to let them be.

What respectable windsurfer lends their gear to their mates or. .. anyone for that matter?!?

I'm sure she'll pass Flacky's two week test

Ha ha....

Just seen this thread. Almost like it's bad karma for spending too long repairing my board..