With only a few weeks to go until the RPS Longboard challenge, several rumours have surfaced which (in my official capacity as an ethical and moral mentor), I wish to highlight and set the record straight on the following matters:

ISSUE 1)
Always a stickler for protocol, George has questioned my qualifications as event judge, and has suggested that my judging team may lack honesty and integrity and may be open to small bribes and incentives. This just simply isn't true...I can assure you that my team is NOT interested in small bribes at all..in fact this year we have capped our starting bribe at $100. In terms of questioning our experience, here are our official qualifications.




ISSUE 2)
Yes it is true that Team Kato has now finished paying off their bribe to the judging committee after they chose to use the "Bribe Now, Pay Later" package at last year's event.

ISSUE 3)


Notice how in the photo of last year's winning team, Red is distancing himself from the rest of the group. This clearly suggests disharmony and a recent recruitment drive around Geelong might see a breakaway group being formed.

ISSUE 4)
After an embarassing performance which can only be described as appalling, it appears Team RPS are pulling out all stops to ensure victory this year. I was fortunate to attend the press conference of the North Korean "satellite" launch last week and here's a picture:



Apparently, this satellite has the ability to create weather events within a targetted area...and its flight plan is over South Gippsland. Warwick has been asking many questions about chop, and how Invy sailors lack any ability to sail in it. Sources have confirmed that there may be more to the renovations out the back of the shop at RPS. I managed to sneak a peak of the back room yesterday and it doesn't really look too retail focussed




IN SUMMARY
With all this going on behind the scenes, it is easy to forget what this event is all about. I asked last year's runner-up Dan Poynton this very question: "Bugger the retro gear, the family involvement, the fun, the events that cater for sailors and non-sailors alike, and the laughs that are to be had" he replied, "its all about winning...but not just winning in a little way..it's about totally annihilating your opposition..."

All in all it is shaping up to be a cracker of an event!
inverlochwindsurf.org.au/get-ready-for-the-longboard-challenge/

Quote... "Notice how in the photo of last year's winning team, Red is distancing himself from the rest of the group. This clearly suggests disharmony and a recent recruitment drive around Geelong might see a breakaway group being formed."

Does this mean we might see an appearance of Mr. Hollywood himself???

Sporting some new, Old swim wear and a new hairdo!

Like the new swimwear Hollywood. See you have been working out a bit lately

Thanks Hollywood for sending me the recent pic of Red also. We can give it to the local police to identify the perpetrator of all the c$%k & B$%ls graffiti

Thanks for the invite Southerly Busters AKA Inverloch team...


Cant wait to catch up with Doug..


And you too Mick!

Looks like we've improved our looks from last season, don't remember doug's feather boa looking so nice.
Mick's teeth look sooo good since his recent operation.

Is it true that PVC pipe is banned this year, I've just ordered one of these to help keep the competition even...

Mick,

I believe that apart from the $100 I placed in your daggerboard cassette [ for this weekend's safari], I've also arranged for Adrian to be your personal porter and stow your gear in the K15.

He will also serve as "Man Friday" for you and cook, wash and erect as well as strike your tent!

"Nuff said!"

Wooza

I forgot Dan..

Just finished fixing my X6 mast. I,ll bring it along as it looks like i might need it

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red said...

I forgot Dan..

I don't want to be BMC anymore, how can i live up to this image

On another important note, do the Miss Adventure tourers need to have points deducted, as I reckon that trip is classed as training and puts the rest of the sailors at a substantial disadvantage....at least 400 point as I have calculated.

I must say that Dan looks like he had a big night out. Now I know why he is always wearing sunglasses with that green eye shadow.

I was almost tempted to Red thumb you Naz - if Warwick and the boys can go on high altitude training surely we should be able to do some training also.




I must say that Warwick's new hair colour and body contours are very attracting

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Old Salty said...

I must say that Dan looks like he had a big night out. Now I know why he is always wearing sunglasses with that green eye shadow.

I was almost tempted to Red thumb you Naz - if Warwick and the boys can go on high altitude training surely we should be able to do some training also.




I must say that Warwick's new hair colour and body contours are very attracting

The Chunny Clan aer booked in the Big 4 caravan park for the whole weekend.

Anyone else staying at Invy over the weekend?


Counting out the locals because, well there locals!

An before anyone asks, there's no spare room in the caravan, your welsome to stay on our site if your willing to change Ashley's pooey nappies that are very ripe at the moment.

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echunda said...

The Chunny Clan aer booked in the Big 4 caravan park for the whole weekend.

Anyone else staying at Invy over the weekend?


Counting out the locals because, well there locals!

An before anyone asks, there's no spare room in the caravan, your welsome to stay on our site if your willing to change Ashley's pooey nappies that are very ripe at the moment.

If you think the nappies are bad now, wait untill she starts getting teeth

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kato said...

echunda said...

The Chunny Clan aer booked in the Big 4 caravan park for the whole weekend.

Anyone else staying at Invy over the weekend?


Counting out the locals because, well there locals!

An before anyone asks, there's no spare room in the caravan, your welsome to stay on our site if your willing to change Ashley's pooey nappies that are very ripe at the moment.

If you think the nappies are bad now, wait untill she starts getting teeth

My son is already teething. Great nights up and neurofin is helping him sleep.


I wonder what the flat water pre madonas is going to come up with this year.... ?

Pinching your next door neighbours down pipe and attaching it to two log boards was quite clever. You must have stole the idea from someone who can sail chop.

Looking forward to time on the water, don't know what team I will join as yet. I'm sure there will be plenty of people that turn up there on the day.

Mel, Trin n I are staying onight at the purple motel, maybe we can all meet up for food at the Inlet hotel???
Be down around 2 on Saturday.

On another note..
Here you go Dougie, see if this one stays green

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nazsail said...

Mel, Trin n I are staying onight at the purple motel, maybe we can all meet up for food at the Inlet hotel???
Be down around 2 on Saturday.

Yep.

It's Meg's birthday Sunday so some IWC crew at the pub to help celebrate will be good.

Sorry to miss Megs birthday bash - give her a big smooch from me.

Salty's SUPerhereos has been registered for the RPS Longboard Challenege. Packed full of an eclectic bunch of not ordinary windsurfers but windsurfers with SUPerhuman abilities. Be warned all teams as I have seen Superwoman, Catwoman, Spiderman, Batman, the Silver Surfer and many more out there on their longboards in intense training

OK, heres the latest from the Longboard Registration Desk.

The following teams have indicated their readiness for glory!.

Teams (ranked in order of best bribes offerred to tight-ar5e5) are:

1) Team RPS
2) Team Kato (starring Geelong's own Laurel and Hardy- Red and Jacques)
3) The Pirates (featuring IWC's first arranged marraige- Ash and Trinity)
4) Moondo's Team Aloha
5) Old Salty's SUPerheroes

There's rumours abound of an appearance by Matt Tonner and "Bertha" the longboard that toured Fiji.

If you dont have a team, no panic!....we'll find a way to get you into one, and work on how to get the rejects and underdogs into a cohesive unit!

OK Teams, the Challenges are up and online @
inverlochwindsurf.org.au/get-ready-for-the-longboard-challenge/

Download the Activities and work out which ones will unlock your path to victory!

(Please note waivers are required for each participant)

WHAT - no points for sledging the judges Unfair. No points or special privileges for being the President. Do we have the right of recourse to a tribunal on the judges decisions

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Old Salty said...

WHAT - no points for sledging the judges Unfair. No points or special privileges for being the President. Do we have the right of recourse to a tribunal on the judges decisions

Of course you do, Old Salty...now let me just take down your name and put a little red mark next to it...........

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drift said...

Old Salty said...

WHAT - no points for sledging the judges Unfair. No points or special privileges for being the President. Do we have the right of recourse to a tribunal on the judges decisions

Of course you do, Old Salty...now let me just take down your name and put a little red mark next to it...........

Any right to recourse will also need the correct form in triplicate, which can be found on either last year's thread or in the achives on the IWC website. It is filed under B.

Bucklies is a good name

Just had a look at the "Activities" Game on

The weather looks good, the teams are almost at the starting line, may the better team win...that's us unless more bribes err fan mail arrives.

Can't come but I must issue a caution regarding having fun with longboards.
They were developed for Olympians, and ordinary sailors can get into all sorts of strife!
Except for the Wally, they cannot be easily controlled and collisions are possible, if not even probable.
They can even be life threatening...
My late mate thought he would whip the competition using an original seat harness from the Wild Winds team.
Although labelled as a "Water Starter Spreader Harness Bouyancy Vest", it actually brings one to the surface feet first, from which position one cannot breathe, let alone waterstart!

Jeez, I had the snip a few years back.

That harness would probably auger the same result, but with more pain and suffering.

If that is one of Drift's sick-minded challenges [ Mystery], then there aint no bribe large enough to get me over the line to attempt that one! Then again, I do have Matty, my team-mate. [}:)][}:)]