This is what I did today.
Step 1 , half rip off dodgy big toenail when getting in straps.
2 , look down to notice a nice red stream of blood from front strap sweeping nicely down the board and off the back.
3 , think to yourself , gee , I cant even feel that because your feet are frozen ( Vic )
4 , think again about yet another shark attack on the news. Yep , you should turn around , your far enough out.
5 , for some reason , a little panic , a competent gyber does everything wrong. Looking down at the blood , lost speed about 10 % into the turn and was pathetically hanging off the back of the board trying to complete the turn ( didn't even move the backhand down the boom) . After finishing my 30 second 100 metre slow mo u turn I go for the glorious I did it flip. At this stage I re hooked.
6 , while laying in the water still hooked in and the sail on the wrong side of the board , think of your bleeding toe and the Jaws theme .
7 , remember that a shark can sniff a drop of blood ( let alone a half a cup ) from the moon !
8 , this is the cool part , somehow , as if by magic you can instantly be on the correct side of the board , flip the 8.7 half sunk twin cam and be planning before your ass is even out of the water. In about four seconds , cant even remember the huge amount of energy I must have used doing this. Could have powered a small village for a day.