I translated the add and in short it says: Buy the kiter's lips they are a must for all the asian ladies that want to give blowjobs, they work well because in Australia everybody knows that kiting sucks!
Tired of yours having that characteristically Japanese built "flat bottom"?
New and improved ported version for a rounder, thicker, and deeper low end!
"news flash, latest technology in windsurf boards"
"when your finished on the water with the new Asian JP Funstar board
you can easliy remove the mast and insert your pole to extend your
pleasure time on and off the water"
"but wait theres more ,if your one of the next 6 callers................."
It was only two days until his wedding anniversary and Mr Potato Head was hanging out for that delivery from the adult shop...
Not an entry in this caption comp but I just had to ask my wife (Japanese) what this thing really is...She insists: "It's actually called a "face slimmer". It's supposed to slim your face."
She is now wondering what I'm actually doing when I say I'm going "windsurfing" 
The revolutionary Neil Pryde mast protector is perfect for long sessions.
In case of equipment failure it amplifies your voice to call for help, and consoles you when you get lonely...
Strengthens the lips, tongue and cheek muscles enabling the user to say the letter "L".
The accessory for every windsurfer who wants to maintain the look they had when they heard kiting was in and windsurfing was out....
Client: I have this large quantity of 'Lubralips', a hundred and twenty-two thousand of them to be exact, which I inherited, and I thought if I advertised them...
Of course! A national campaign. Useful things, 'lubralips', no trouble there.
For what?
A MILLION HOUSEHOLD USES!
Such as?
Uhmm...gripping lids on jam jars, silencing mothers-in-law, impersonating side-show clowns, making holes for indoor golf, destroying household pests...
Destroying household pests?! How?
Well, if they're bigger than a rat, you can strangle them with it, and if they're smaller than a rat, you swallow them whole!
Surely not!....
'DESTROY NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF KNOWN HOUSEHOLD PESTS WITH PRE-CAST, SURGICAL GRADE, EASY-TO-HANDLE, LOW CALORIE INDIVIDUAL 'LUBRALIPS' , FREE FROM ARTIFICIAL COLORING, AS USED IN HOSPITALS!'
'Ospitals!?!?!?!!?
Makes a wonderful speculum for intubation…
and comes with bonus Yabbie Pump adaptor…
You're mad!
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
This is a Seabreeze caption competition - Sex, sex, sex, must get sex into it. Wait, I see a television commercial- There's this nude woman at the beach holding a stuck mast and wearing lubralips. That's great, great, but we need a kiter, got to have some polka dotted boardies in there. There's a nude woman at the beach with a kiter--that's too sexy. Put Elmo and Mr Potato Head there watching them, that'll take the curse off it. Now, we need children and animals. There are two kids playing with Mr Potato Head, and a dog chasing Elmo who has been skunked again. Uhh...international flavor's missing...make the beach European! How about Tarifa? No no,too expensive. Never mind, we'll go to Greece, it'll be cheaper. So, there's Elmo... (fade out)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Awwwww huge effort 'nita (sorry had to check profile for a name), got my vote 4 winner 
have a greenie!
When first entering parliament all politicans are given a device known affectionately as the 'polly mouth'.
This allows them to talk constant ****e without having to worry about taking a breadth between broken promises.
Translation :
All new - insert the flubber mouth to allow your pinery gland to directly mind-melt with star-gates and intergalatic dimensions without the dumbing effect of flouride
Gina reveals the PPE required for foreign works to enable them to complete 22 hours shifts in the desert.
In a recent meda conference it was revealed that both the Australian workers engaged on the project would also be required to wear the same device, just in a different orifice
Windaddict just couldn't work out how to attach his camera mount he bought off e-bay, despite the detailed instructions
Called:
I really wanted Elmo to win for his disgusting " just like when granny takes her teeth out" - a very Poor Relative kinda comment
But there are equal thumbs for Bondy, Albers and Davmen
Davmen takes it for the available in SDM or RDM (being an SDM man myself and having fitment issues I understand, Dave
- I still laugh when I read it!
