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Razzonater said..
Old boards must die with honour, they are not to be sold. Preferably wait for certain beachies near Margs to get 3 metre+ swell upon seeing this wax up and say goodbye old friend. It is best to pull in to the heaviest section possible,whilst absolutley shutting yourself. Generally one or two of these will exit your board to valhalla allowing you access to it in your afterlife......occasionally a board refuses to be dispatched and actually makes barrels and drops never thought possible, this board is then allowed a grace of no less than two weeks and no more than two months. If snapping procedure does not work on second attempt,than the board is rated as having special powers and achieves legend status. At this point it must be given away to a aspiring young grommet. It is important no money changes hands and it is handed over willingly and from the heart. This helps the board to fulfill someone else's dreams and allows you to enable that.
These are the rules of the old board that has served its time.it is the only way the situation can be resolved and maintain intergalactic alignment. Please heed my words as gospel and carry out the task to complete the circle of life.
Note: if board snaps during send off it is to be left in carpark as....
A: a symbol of your manliness
B: something grommets to practice karate kicks on.
C: the begining of a mystical journey into a hybrid kneeboard in some dude called Gary,shed where it will be deglassed and sit dormant for three years till Gary gets his **** together after his wife leaves him for filling the shed up with broken boards found at the beach for his " projects"
Finally and on a personal note I have lived every part of this prophecy apart from that of Gary. Which personally I believe is a cautionary additional tale involving the dangers of becoming a kneeboarder.
You've put some serous thought into that

But its sounds right