Mate, I just read your last story from Vienna and saw the size of that pigs trotter you were shoving down your throat, I tell you, that Diverse will sink to the bottom once you get on it

Hey good news, the youngest daughter just got engaged, all that hinting I did with her boyfriend finally paid off (eg, get you finger out of your arse and marry this girl you lazy good for nothing twat).
I guess I'm going to have to get a job now to pay for the wedding

You would have had a good laugh at me today, I went in at the Roy, it was struggling to make a 1 foot and I ended up getting out of the water with blood all over my face from a hit I took across the bridge of my nose from the back end of the board. Seby and Pete the firey were looking and they pissed themselves. They couldn't believe I could hurt myself in surf that tiny.

Now that really takes some talent