Part 5
Hypo ain't dead!
Hypo woke with the greatest hangover known to mankind. He feebly opened his eyelids as he felt something jabbing him in the back.
"See, he's not dead", he heard a youthful voice.
He rolled onto his back to see two fresh faces looking into his, each with a stick.
"Oh pooh" "he stinks" said the boy.
"Ha ha" came another voice.
Hypo laid back on what seemed like straw. He looked at the high ceiling of what appeared to be a barn.
"OK, you two off you go" called a man's voice," leave the poor fella alone now".
The two children ran off laughing.
Hypo tried to focus on the man.
"You Ok?" the man asked.
"I think so" replied Hypo.
"I just feel really hung over"
"Yerr, drinkin will do that" the man quipped.
"No s**t", muttered Hypo
"You've been laying there for 3 days" said the farmer.
"Farkn 3 days?" replied Hypo
"Oh yerr" he replied
"You were breathin alright, so we just left you".
"Ok, thanks" replied Hypo
"Errr where am I? he asked"
"South Kempsey" replied the farmer
"Farkn south Kempsey!" replied a shocked Hypo
"Yup? replied the farmer,""This is my farm".
"I heard a truck a few nights ago, must have dropped you off, where you headed he asked?"
"I don't know" replied Hypo
"Ha ha, that's a good one," he said.
"So what day is it" Asked Hypo
"Saturday" replied the farmer
Saturday? thought Hypo, last I remember I was in bed in Sydney on Tuesday night, now really confused.
"Anyway what's your name young fella?" asked the farmer
Young fella? Hypo thought, is he taking the piss?
"John" replied Hypo, "my name is John Mcevoy".
"My name is Bert," he said holding out his hand to shake.
Hypo stayed in the barn a few more days. He was really sick, but his memory was returning. An old mate had turned up that night before he was due to go for a surf and they got into a serious drinking session. His friend had just returned from a work stint and was loaded. He shouted Hypo all night. Hypo vaguely remembers something about a trip up the coast and then it goes a bit blank. Then he remembers the guy offered him free room and meals up the coast for two weeks if he could get himself there. He must have hitched with a truckie and got dropped off.
Fark that's a relief thought Hypo, I really thought I had lost it.
Bert was a kind guy, he let Hypo stay there and brought him some sandwiches and fresh milk.
"Hey John, do you have a dog?" asked Bert
"My dog died a few years ago" replied Hypo with a hint of sadness.
"My bitch had some pups and I'd like to find homes for them."
"What breed?" asked Hypo
"Blue cattle cross" replied Bert
"The best kind" said Hypo, smiling
Bert smiled back.
"You want a boy or girl?" asked Bert
"I'll let you decide", said Hypo
A few more days had passed and Hypo was ready to move on. He helped a bit on the farm to repay Bert for his kindness. He didn't have to, but felt it was the right thing to do. The kids called him mr stinky. His new pup was a beauty. A real good looking bluey with speckles.
Bert dropped him off at the crossroad to the coast. He would hitch towards the coast and find his mate.

So good mate

It took Hypo a while to get to the house near the point. People don't seem to want to pick up scruffy looking older men for some reason. He eventually got a ride in with a couple of tradies. He was in the back of course with his new pup and some other mixed breed.
When he got to the house his drinking mate wasn't there but Barney was. Barney had been in the house for 3 months and was happy and relaxed. He was going the next day to visit Jockey.
Hypo settled in and waited for his mate to arrive.


Barney had an uneventful trip down the coast and was soon driving into Jockeys place. Jockey was on the veranda nursing a beer and dressed in a suit.
"Hey! where's the weddin!?" Barney called out jokingly
"Not funny Barney" replied Jockey
"Why, whats up" asked Barney
"Hypo's gone, Barney"
"Yeah I know, so what?" replied Barney
"Aw get farked Barney it's not a joke you know!!" Jockey snapped back
"What are you talking about?" asked Barney
"Its Hypo!, he's dead!," "he died last Wednesday", his cremation is today," said Jockey filled with emotion
"Hypo aint dead!!" yelled Barney
"I saw him yesterday!" said Barney
"Don't fark with me Barney!! I'm tellin you, don't fark with me, not today!!" Jockey threatened
"I'm serious Jockey, I talked to him yesterday up the coast in the point house."
Jockey stared at Barney, he knew he was telling the truth.
"Well then who the fark is in the box waiting to be farking cremated at 2 pm today!?" Jockey bellowed.
"Suppose we better go and find out" Barney replied casually.
They looked at each other and made haste to Jockeys car and raced to the crematorium.
They located the coffin and with the aid off an official lifted the lid. Jockey looked at the corpse for over a minute.
Then he burst out into hysterical uncontrollable laughter.
"It's not him!!" he yelled Hahaha It's not farkin him!!!" Hypo you farkin arsehole hahahaha!!!"
The official was clearly uncomfortable and Barney didn't really like it when Jockey started hugging him.
"You farkin arsehole Hypo!!" "It's not him, Barney!!" he screamed and laughed hysterically.
"Somebody farked up" hahahaha " somebody farked up!!!"

The old warhorse cruises on .....

hahaha awesome...nice twist mate, well done

This is the link to parts 4,3,2,1 for those who may not have read them. (Bit like flipping back through a book to get to the start)

www.seabreeze.com.au/forums/topic.asp?CAT_NAME=Surfing&F_SUBJECT=Longboarding&T_SUBJECT=Hypo-part-4-ending

Jockey and Barney sat in the car outside the crematorium.
"How could that that happen?" asked Jockey
"Dunno" replied Barney
"So Hypo seemed OK when you spoke to him?" Jockey asked
"Yeah he was fine" said Barney "but he looked a bit seedy, he was going to meet Peanut" said Barney
"Farkn Peanut!" exclaimed Jockey, "whys he hanging with Peanut?" he asked
"Peanut's cashed up" said Barney, "he's shouting Hypo what ever he likes"
"He's a farkn alcoholic that Peanut" said Jockey, "he's someone we will be saying ta's ta's to, if he doesn't change his ways."
"Should we let Hypo know what's happened?" asked Barney
"No leave him up the coast" "He needs to get some salt water around his gills" "City living isn't good for him"
"Besides he doesn't realize he hasn't a room in the city anymore."
"I'll try and get him back down here when he leaves the point house"
"When you go back I'll send a message up with you" said Jockey
"Don't know if the cops will want to talk to him or not, but hes been off their radar for years now, so he shouldn't be worried if they find him"

It was true, Hypo was a different person when he was near the ocean, he took better care of his health and usually surfed every day regardless of the conditions. He just clicked into gear, the surf gave him a spiritual connection that inspired him.

As to what happened in regards to his 'death' it was a comedy of errors.
Hypos room at the boarding house was at the rear of the building. It backed onto a lane that was frequented by all types of people. There was an old fella named Russell who used to occasionally sleep on a lounge on the veranda that was outside Hypo's room.
The night Hypo was woken up by Peanut (his binge drinking partner), Russell had come to sleep on the veranda after Hypo and Peanut had gone out. Finding Hypo's room wide open, Russell availed himself to the fridge and pocketed Hypo's wallet which included his ID's, he then decided to take a nap on Hypo's bed. Next morning the caretaker of the boarding house found Hypo's door wide open and a corpse on the bed. He contacted the police and the caretaker not knowing what Hypo really looked like, and wanting the body out of the building, ID'd the corpse as Hypo. The police rushed their part of the job as Russell had an unpleasant odor about him. The result ? - one body bag with ID's attached named John Mcevoy.
Hypo hadn't been back home as he had bolted up the coast straight from his drinking session with Peanut.
Jockey had arrived after the body was removed to collect Hypo's things.

Peanut eventually turned up at the point house. now with a lady in tow. Peanut and Cheryl disappeared into Peanuts room and got busy about it real quick, so Hypo went surfing.
He was fortunate as Barney had left his boards behind, good ole Barney he thought
The surf was average but refreshing. Not many people about and just 3 foot or so of beach break, some sunshine, just what he needed.
Hypo enjoyed the surf as it loosened up his mind and body, plus he would be needing it, there was a swell on it's way.......

Ahhh thats karma, for being a low life thief.......& woohoo, swells on the way

Good Stuff!