I'll pass, but you can feel free to indulge.
666 News Headlines (Heroic fanfare)
(Must be read in your best Elmer Fudd voice)
Today I pwaddeled my widdle boaty out to sea.
When I saw a big wabe I turned awound and I pwaddeled bwack to the shore.
And the big wabe made me go fast.
Den I hooted at my Fwends who were pwaddeling too, and we all gabe each ubber a high fwibe

That ends today 666 news headlines