anyone ever heard of anyone learning to kite when preggers?

sounds like a bad idea, no

dunno why dont you try it and tell us

Seriously?

Firstly NO! it's a bad idea.
secondly and more importantly
start inviting your quality family and friends over a lot
coz if you wanna see any water once the mini-me comes along, your wife's gonna need an amazing support team.

Im no doctor, but im pretty sure doctors always say, keep doing what is normal to you before pregnancy but its not a time to do new strenuous things.

Maybe a seat harness will be required.

Maybe she's piled on a few pounds
Have you asked is she pregnant

I kited, while pregnant but I wouldn't recommend learning. It's not recommended to you take on any new physically exerting activity in that time.
For the record I also thought a seat harness would be the way to go, but no, it digs into your belly. Harness sits nicely on top of the bump.
...And congratulations :)

You will need bigger kites.

I would of thought contraceptionless sex would be more enjoyable, no Unless you are talking about the male in this scenario, then it is totally fine to kite! Just not when she goes in to labour... well, actually that might be debatable...