As father of the bride(s), lucky me gets to fund two weddings this year. What's a reasonable expectation in terms of contributions from various parties in relation to the costs?

Hey mate... my Daughter got married last year and we went thirds - we paid 1/3, the in-laws paid 1/3 and the wedding couple paid 1/3...
I put this idea forward to control the spend, otherwise things can get out of hand quickly... And it's the way my wife and I did it 32yrs ago. In the end we kicked in a little bit more (like $2k), as my Daughter and her husband did so without approaching us for more money. The wedding went off beautifully and no one had to re-mortgage their house.

My son just got engaged during his Xmas snowboarding holiday to Whistler... so just as we got the back account somewhere decent I'm up for another one (as his fiance comes from a broken marriage and I don't think her parents will be able to contribute much)

From the title I thought this was going to be a rant about how marriage ruins lives and everyone pays and only the lawyers profit.

We gave our daughter $100k a few years ago. My wife and I got married in Las Vegas and put zero importance on the ceremony. We are still together.

Our daughter is planning on getting married in March, is inviting 100 people and they wish to fund it themselves. Maybe her bfs parents might contribute something - IDK. We will just get her a gift - maybe a toaster. We think marriage is meaningless.

Insert Kanye west music memes here

Too conservative. My maternal grandfather encouraged my parents to elope.
Of course, he had experience, having done it himself soon after returning from WW1

Wife and i paid for the wedding. Was cheap.
Rented a superflash house with deck sea views side of a hill bushland on an island etc.. Got married by a celebrant on beach. Had reception on deck with a great band and canape catering. They also served the piss for us while they were there. Maybe we had some extra servers. All booze in eskies bought in bulk.. Only way to fly i reckon. Nothing more budget than the timed bar tab in some club function room where u pay bar prices and only the wedding party get the spirits or moet etc, and u watch yr pisshead mates smash through 10 beers at some venue thats done it a thousand times before.

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myusernam said..
Wife and i paid for the wedding. Was cheap.
Rented a superflash house with deck sea views side of a hill bushland on an island etc.. Got married by a celebrant on beach. Had reception on deck with a great band and canape catering. They also served the piss for us while they were there. Maybe we had some extra servers. All booze in eskies bought in bulk.. Only way to fly i reckon. Nothing more budget than the timed bar tab in some club function room where u pay bar prices and only the wedding party get the spirits or moet etc, and u watch yr pisshead mates smash through 10 beers at some venue thats done it a thousand times before.

Clever!

Actually, the first wedding is already done. They tried to sell us a drinks package for $38 a head. When I told them my daughter's friends don't drink much, they said, "You'll be surprised". We took the bar tab option at the inflated venue prices and it still only came to $1200 for 120 guests. They ended up being the surprised ones.

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Harrow said..

myusernam said..
Wife and i paid for the wedding. Was cheap.
Rented a superflash house with deck sea views side of a hill bushland on an island etc.. Got married by a celebrant on beach. Had reception on deck with a great band and canape catering. They also served the piss for us while they were there. Maybe we had some extra servers. All booze in eskies bought in bulk.. Only way to fly i reckon. Nothing more budget than the timed bar tab in some club function room where u pay bar prices and only the wedding party get the spirits or moet etc, and u watch yr pisshead mates smash through 10 beers at some venue thats done it a thousand times before.

Clever!

Actually, the first wedding is already done. They tried to sell us a drinks package for $38 a head. When I told them my daughter's friends don't drink much, they said, "You'll be surprised". We took the bar tab option at the inflated venue prices and it still only came to $1200 for 120 guests. They ended up being the surprised ones.

My Brother went down the 'myusernam' route for his own wedding (fancy house on Fraser). Paid for it himself.
My wife and i got married 7 years ago. Didn't need gifts, or to be 'gifted' money for honeymoon etc.
We hired out a small surf club (Bilinga), celebrant on the beach, external caterer at mates rates. We were specific on our wedding invites - don't buy us a gift, buy your own booze (at small surf club prices, which was bugger all).
Being a small surf club, I think we were limited to about 60 guests, so not inviting the cousins you haven't seen in 10 years.
Was a legendary wedding, even if I say so myself, and cost us bugger all. I have it in my head that celebrant, venue, catering, outfits, make up and hair for the missus, rings and hotel rooms for the night before (x2) and the night of was less than $7k. And we refused to let any parents contribute.
Mind you, was my second marriage. So, a) no one else should be contributing, and b) the dramas my first wedding caused over who was paying for what, which was also stuff all, meant I really wanted to avoid that BS.
Long story short, if there's 'expectations' on who's paying what, expect there to be dramas... and be thrilled if there's not.

Or just pay whatever it takes to avoid drama and conflict. That crap won't go away.

Less spent on the wedding/reception means the marriage lasts longer according to research. Paid for own using beach then house method mentioned above, still together 24 years later. amp.nine.com.au/article/c9eeea46-6e92-4c4e-8b71-68b8952e41c3

We went 50/50. My wife and I! We did have it at the in-laws house though.

if you don't get married on a beach in Bali
by an Indonesian elvis impersonator
whilst both high on mushrooms
are you even really married....?

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hilly said..
Less spent on the wedding/reception means the marriage lasts longer according to research. Paid for own using beach then house method mentioned above, still together 24 years later. amp.nine.com.au/article/c9eeea46-6e92-4c4e-8b71-68b8952e41c3

I wonder if this correlates with the expectations of the bride and groom during the marriage. I hate to be sexist but I can imagine that a wife that wants a huge wedding to show off may want that sort of spending all through their marriage and for most its not practical.

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hilly said..
Less spent on the wedding/reception means the marriage lasts longer according to research. Paid for own using beach then house method mentioned above, still together 24 years later. amp.nine.com.au/article/c9eeea46-6e92-4c4e-8b71-68b8952e41c3

I'm calling this bullsh1t. I've been watching MAFS for a decade. The couples spend nothing on their weddings and none of them last.

The groomsman family always pays for the booze.it might of changed now if you get my drift.jenny might marry jenny.
P.s sorry for my Chauvinism.just my thoughts.

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damned67 said..
Or just pay whatever it takes to avoid drama and conflict. That crap won't go away.

Yeah, we're just paying up front and consider any in-law contributions to be a bonus. I agree it's the kind of thing that's not worth arguing about.

Been trying to buy one all year for a reasonable price.
They used to cost $20-30 now $80-$120

There's plenty of foodcourt brides out there.

Carantoc you are an odd dude. I posted that i really liked Bug-a-salt and that id never heard of the gun before and we had a thread about it.
You"ve since mentioned it quite a lot of times like its some massive burn or running joke.
Even made that AI image. I think you're trying to be clever or witty like myscreenname but i just dont think you have the talent. Also i dont know if u have a thing about me. I dont visit or post that often anymore. Your username is a lot like mine and i seem to evoke responses from you..

Fark u must be bored

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myscreenname said..

thought l throw in a Mem.

Better off putting money into a house deposit or dropping it into there mortgage.

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hilly said..
Less spent on the wedding/reception means the marriage lasts longer according to research. Paid for own using beach then house method mentioned above, still together 24 years later. amp.nine.com.au/article/c9eeea46-6e92-4c4e-8b71-68b8952e41c3

That's what I'm hoping. Two weddings, three receptions. One city office 'wedding', one dinner with friends at a decent restaurant in Sydney, the wedding proper - in a local park under the native trees with my father as celebrant, the back to the folks house for a catered dinner with friends and family. No gifts was the only option. Cost less than 3K. Still going 20 years strong.