I left for the big city Melbourne after spending my teens and early twenties in the water pretty much 24/7. Built a life for myself the whole she-bang; friends, connections etc. Got a misso thats good but would never leave the city and I wouldn't want to make her. She's amazing and I could picture myself settling down with her.

It's been a year now and I'm feeling the ocean pull. The weekend hourly drive is just not cutting it anymore. I'm in the fortunate event my job offers opportunity wherever I go so it's a matter of looking. But I am in a toughie.

Anyone ever been in this situation? Would love to hear some old heads experiences and of what you chose and how your lifes turned out etc.

Cheers.

Its not going to work out by the sounds of it

Women come and go.

The ocean is your mistress and will stick with you for life. Stay close to her.

Find a missus that will appreciate the ocean with you and its win win.

if your not happy where you are now leave straight away, go to the ocean. If the girl your with now wants to go with you, great, if she doesn't, leave her behind, you'll find another. There are more women on this earth than weeks or even days in your life, don't waste your time if your not happy, you can't build a life on regrets.

The ocean,. always wet, always inviting and doesn't mind if your mates have a play too ;)

Hmmm your answer is in the question it is

(said in voice of yoda)

do do you want to be happy or suppress the joy of gliding along a wave.

heres the kicker, if you have kids with your lady where do you envisage them growing up, next to the coast or In the city?

the best part of this question is the next bit, have you discussed kids or bought a house together? if not are you even that serious?

sorry to take you on the psychological minefield but one needs to ask these questions first before weighing the actual seriousness of relationship and associated living conditions as opposed to personal perception.

Now we have got through that bit together the big question is are you both willing to make sacrifices?

Donovan frankenreiter actually wrote one of the best pieces of music and it's cheesy as faaark but the statement he makes is, if it's important to you it's important to me........,

Tough one , As above , think where you want to live ,and raise your kids. I grew up in the city and moved to south Mandurah , One hour out of Perth . This is where I want to live and raise my family and its a great feeling to live in a place where you belong rather than strive to get there when your 65. My kid and I have a great life , bit of a drive to work but that will change but hey I still live over looking and estuary and 2 mins to a beach break.
GO TO THE BEACH , let her come if she wants , if you have kids you should have given this a bit of thought before.

I've done both, God I feel old, but both worked out
If i've learnt anything it is
life lasts approx 3 score and blah
it ain't worth wasting in the city

I'm not too old but I've moved and lived in 3 different cities in my life. Toronto, Perth, Vancouver. All different in they're own right.

How well do you know yourself? I find it geunuinely difficult at times to distinguish when I'm being honest with myself (not saying you're not!) but taking the time to reflect, see different perspective, get some opinions from others may give you more data for your mental map.

You're asking us, so that's a start... keep it up. Who would be better to talk to?

Insight is the word I think.


I'd say, start opening the topic with close ones (do your closest friends see you living that lifestyle), if its genuinely difficult to work through get some counseling for yourself +/- the missus(sometimes those close to us find it difficult to keep they're biases out of it). It can be a new adventure or an opportunity.



Have a soft grip on the situation ( you moving does not necessarily mean your moving forever, or your relationships disappear) get creative, keep an open mind and update your mental map. Good luck! Get to it.

if your asking that - here well your minds made up, next time you get a full day of filthy waves there'll be no denying in your mind what the decision will be

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HENDO 77 said..
Tough one , As above , think where you want to live ,and raise your kids. I grew up in the city and moved to south Mandurah , One hour out of Perth .

I am not making fun of Perth or anything, but was the city you were talking about having grown up in, Perth?

If so, I think it is streets apart from Melbourne and Sydney. Moving from Sydney or Melbourne to Perth and you would think you have moved to a regional area. Perth is so much easier to get around even though the locals probably don't think it is.

In lots of parts of Sydney you are more than an hour from the city CBD, but still in 'the city'.

Hi Waveless.

Mate, do what you reckon is right.

No-one on an Internet forum is going to give you the answer you're looking for.

You have to decide yourself.

It's up yo you.

Dammit mate, you've got a hard one here.
The heart can pull you in two ways at once, which it makes it so hard to decide what you need.

All you can do is think about it and decide what you can really live without, or less of, as the case may be.
Cause one choice you may get both, albeit in frequency, one choice you'll only get one. Simple as that.
That doesn't mean you won't resent one or the other for what you decide, it all comes down to just what you can live with.

Don't live a lie and go with your passion. the rest will follow.

There's thousands of girls, one ocean.

YOU CAN ALWAYS MAKE MORE MONEY AND GIRLS. BUT YOU CAN NOT MAKE MORE TIME

I got both. On site van 1 hr south of Perth where I spend the weekends doing my water sports and back to city for the week and the wife and kids like it to as do the grandchildren

Waveless, your online moniker seems to be quite fortuitous. Maybe it started there.

Update; misso has implied she'd like to move down the coast. WINNINGGGG.

But to be honest I have a feeling that's more talk than not. I think one of the big things is I'll set a deadline and go from there. I'm hitting my late twenties so want to at least spend a bit of my younger years surfing all day. That or find a way to snag it rich and retire in my thirties.

Well timed sick leave is gold too

Ultimately your not going to be able to change her But show her your lifestyle Your gona want to raise a family eventually . Moving to a coastal location has many positive advantages. Take her down for a sunset beach walk every night Appreciate life. I think she will love it and prob never go back to the big smoke. Raising and growing healthy y active lifestyle are the foundations of a happy family. Costal community's accommodate a healthier lifestyle. Show her you life and the potential and advantages it has. You cant knock her for not wanting to change if she doesn't adjust. Her comfort mabe inner city high density living. Show her your life But spend the time getting to know hers! Good communication is the key and im sure there will be a lot of diplomatic discussion on lifestyle choices heading your way! Never get mad or angry Its a hudge learning curb and the puzzle pieces might fit!

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HENDO 77 said..
Well timed sick leave is gold too

Had a guy who migrated from Singapore who rented a room off me for a while and his opinion of Aussie workers couldn't get much lower. His experience gave him the impression that we are a lazy mob of bastards and not very efficient. I'm an Aussie who grew up on a farm and I can see where he would get this attitude, cause I've worked with plenty of these lazy bastards as well.

Just makes you realise why the cost of production is so expensive in Australia and we import goods we use to produce in Australia. Sure the cost of labour is cheaper in some other countries buy we've got a lot of house keeping to do before we can honestly say we've done our best.

Yeah, have a another well timed sickie and complain about the economy

I worked with a guy from Singapore as well, and he was suggesting that the 'hanging around til after the boss left' was more to do with making work until the boss left, not actually being productive.

He liked the work life balance here so much, he moved here. Who wants to work on Saturdays as well?

Sure, there are lazy people here, but you can guarantee that exists in every culture.

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Simsurf said..
Women come and go.

The ocean is your mistress and will stick with you for life. Stay close to her.

Find a missus that will appreciate the ocean with you and its win win.

Ditto. You can always find a partner who appreciates you for who you are. Follow your heart and live your dream - not someone else's. Peace.

A well timed sicky when the surf / wind is on is gold and a I don't complain much as my life is good .
Take just one and don't take it all too serious ,
lighten up a bit , ya kids might even find you fun to hang out with . These are the things that matter

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Crusoe said..

HENDO 77 said..
Well timed sick leave is gold too

Had a guy who migrated from Singapore who rented a room off me for a while and his opinion of Aussie workers couldn't get much lower. His experience gave him the impression that we are a lazy mob of bastards and not very efficient. I'm an Aussie who grew up on a farm and I can see where he would get this attitude, cause I've worked with plenty of these lazy bastards as well.

Just makes you realise why the cost of production is so expensive in Australia and we import goods we use to produce in Australia. Sure the cost of labour is cheaper in some other countries buy we've got a lot of house keeping to do before we can honestly say we've done our best.

Yeah, have a another well timed sickie and complain about the economy

I take it Mr Singapore didn't surf and had a low tolerance towards anything fun