As valentines day approaches i started thinking about some of my romantic failures & I thought Im probably not the only one who has got it wrong on occasion .
After being told I haven't been very romantic lately I thought I would try to fix that .
So I got up early & cut a bunch of roses & carefully removed all the thorns left them on the pillow .
When the phone rang when I was at work i actually felt a little anticipation of her thanking me .
But what i got was You f& c the beds full of aphids & i just washed the sheets yesterday now Ive got to wash them again .
All I managed to say to the hung up phone was its the thought that counts .

"Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory."

Abraham Lincoln



Or a more suitable quote in your situation...

"Marriage is like life - it is a field of battle, not a bed of roses."

Robert Louis Stevenson

I feel your pain actiomax. I think this about sums things up for me at times

A Short Story

One day,a long long time ago,
there was a woman who didn't whine,bitch or complain,
but it was a long time ago and it was just for that one day.
The End

My love life feels so much better now

I'm already chilling some special wine and have put some nice comfy cushions and chocolates on the couch ready for the 14th of Feb. I will be snuggled up watching Aus V Eng in the first game of the WC. My missus is more than welcome to join me.

Its looking windy here.

(PS for Loto - thought I was the only one who posted really old stuff that was online like 3 years ago...?)

Not all women are opinionated, whinge, bitch, whine and argue.....oops there I go again !

Well, a long time ago when she finished her PHD I offered her a old small book called "My careers goes bing"…
I guess it wasn't like the big bang I thought it meant...

A long time ago when I was married to my first wife, for Valentines Day I bought her a new electric razor for her legs. She looked at me, then her legs, then back at me, and then slapped me. What did I do wrong, she needed one? It's not like I bought her a set of jumper cables for her car battery which kept dying.

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Mastbender said..
A long time ago when I was married to my first wife, for Valentines Day I bought her a new electric razor for her legs. She looked at me, then her legs, then back at me, and then slapped me. What did I do wrong, she needed one? It's not like I bought her a set of jumper cables for her car battery which kept dying.

I got one of my ex's a sandwich maker for her birthday, it didn't go down to well

My missus was whining about watering whilst I was replacing the retic on our front lawn (3 year job- still ongoing ).
So I bought her one of those long green hose sprinklers for christmas.
She wasn't overly impressed but did see the funny side of it.
I'm still still surprised I wasn't strangled by it :)

'Roast

Never call a woman fat because elephants never forget.

Ive also failed by buying lingerie the wrong size to big . What do you think I'm that fat then thrown them at me & stormed off.
In my defence my daughter gave me the sizes .
Ive come home with flowers & chocolate to got told off because there on a diet . but she still ate the chocolate .
In fact after that i started bringing home flowers & chocolate all the time just to see if she would break the diet so far its worked ever time but i did have to stop I don't want her getting any fatter but then she might fit the lingerie

Can not blame ye daughter - personal responsibility !! If in doubt always go the size too small - she will quietly thank you for it

For our 17th wedding anniversary my wife got me a vasectomy.

A couple of weeks back I got in trouble for celebrating "the second anniversary of my vasectomy" rather than our 19th wedding anniversary.

Ok took her to 50 shades of grey. Then 4 course al a cart dinner. The local went all out guest chef food was fantastic service fantastic .
But because there was only 1 other couple there the number of waitresses equaled the customers & plus the extra chefs I cant help but feel that would have been a massive economic loss so I think it might be classed as a romantic failure.
Did come home thinking the house was on fire but my 11yr old had set up fog machine and mirror balls & lights in our bedroom rose petals on the bed & wine glasses full of wild turkey on side tables he also put funky town on . I thought it was so cute . As I said maybe not so much fog everyone has to evacuate the house next time . .

I think most men and women have different ideas of romance. Sometimes romance can be something so small like he picks up your favourite food at the supermarket without being asked, or just a text when your at work to say hey hope your having a good day.

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kat75 said..
I think most men and women have different ideas of romance. Sometimes romance can be something so small like he picks up your favourite food at the supermarket without being asked, or just a text when your at work to say hey hope your having a good day.

My ex thought a good example of romance was him buying me a blender so that I could make him smoothies....lol!

I wrote "I love you" on a sheet of toilet paper, a few layers in the roll, so she'd find it the next time she went.

It's really funny to find out what works, and what doesn't, she actually thought it was romantically cute.
Go figure.

I spent almost $100 on my wife and I'll I got was a small box of chocolates. Faark!

There are three rings you'll have to pay for in relationships.

The engagement ring
The wedding ring
And then the suffering .

Did you get a juicy fruit

My brother in law gave the wifes sister a gravy boat for valentines then a broom for the birthday.. Not only has he never lived it down, it is forever held out to the rest of us of what not to do.

He maintains he took one for the team.

When's Valentines Day ?????

you shore as **** don't chase woman around on valentines day. you'll only
waste your time money & effort, save it for sailing.

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actiomax said...
Ok took her to 50 shades of grey. Then 4 course al a cart dinner. The local went all out guest chef food was fantastic service fantastic .
But because there was only 1 other couple there the number of waitresses equaled the customers & plus the extra chefs I cant help but feel that would have been a massive economic loss so I think it might be classed as a romantic failure.
Did come home thinking the house was on fire but my 11yr old had set up fog machine and mirror balls & lights in our bedroom rose petals on the bed & wine glasses full of wild turkey on side tables he also put funky town on . I thought it was so cute . As I said maybe not so much fog everyone has to evacuate the house next time . .

Does your 11yo know what happens in there?

Well if a mirror ball lights & fog machine is and funky town playing & that's his idea of setting the mood he must think we like to disco

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actiomax said..
Well if a mirror ball lights & fog machine is and funky town playing & that's his idea of setting the mood he must think we like to disco

don't forget the wine glasses full of wild turkey!

dunno where he got his RSA ticket

stephen