Katy Perry and Five Other Rich People Briefly Flew to Space So They Could Feel Something Again

In a stunning display of wealth, privilege, and questionable life choices, pop star Katy Perry and a handpicked squad of ultra-rich women (including Jeff Bezos's fiance Lauren Sanchez and CBS's Gayle King, who was presumably there to narrate the experience like a 60 Minutes segment) safely returned to Earth after their grueling 11-minute space joyride aboard Blue Origin's latest vanity rocket.

The highlight of the flight, according to King, was hearing Perry sing "What a Wonderful World" - because nothing screams "existential awe" like a pop star belting out Louis Armstrong while hurtling toward the void in a billionaire's phallic spacecraft.

Upon landing, Perry gushed about feeling "super connected to life" and "so connected to love," which is impressive considering she spent less time in space than most people spend waiting in line at Woolworths. The group briefly crossed the Karman line (the internationally recognized boundary of space, because apparently even the cosmos has VIP sections), where they experienced weightlessness-or, as the rest of us call it, the feeling of being unpaid interns in late-stage capitalism.

Bezos, who was presumably watching from his private island while stroking a diamond-encrusted cat, has yet to comment on whether this mission finally justified the existence of Blue Origin - or if it was just another overpriced field trip for people who think "taxes" is a dirty word.

Welcome back to Earth, ladies. The rest of us never left.

I like the bit of slapstick that Bezos injected to reduce the tension after they landed.




Faceplanted while looking for the door

she should have stripped to a bikini top so we could see the effect of zero gravity on her tatas