Taken from the Inertia:
1. They are rich. A paddle board costs at least twice as much as a real surfboard. What this does is makes those who captain them at least twice as important as all the impoverished people paddling prone. The more you pay, the more you play. It’s simple.
2. They are complete bad asses who give zero ****s. SUPers charge. Especially here in LA, at least. I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen a SUPer just point that nose into shore, take off on a sick straight hander close out, and demolish a group of real surfers like a boss. Like they don’t even care about a damn thing. Today I watched a SUPer on the biggest, widest yacht of a board I’ve ever seen, slot himself right in the middle of the pack, take out two careless minimum wage making bastards as he turned around for his sixth wave in a row, and then, because he was so fatigued from catching so many waves, gracefully somersaulted head-over-nose down the face of the wave, sending his dinghy and oar directly into some reckless kids on the inside. He taught them, and all of us, a valuable lesson about what happens when you bring knives to a gun fight.
3. They are utterly selfless. I’ve never once witnessed, or even heard of a stand up paddler doing anything selfish. They are the true soul surfers, paddling with nothing but reverence and consideration in their hearts for all the penniless paupers who splash around in the squalor beneath them. Sharing is caring seems to be their mantra. Maybe it’s that higher perspective, or maybe it’s just the type of person that SUPs in the first place, but SUPers are the special ones who know that true happiness only comes when they put others first. Too many times to count I’ve seen SUPers “jump on a grenade”, and make sure no one else can catch the biggest, best, set wave of the day by wiping out and totally blowing it for everyone. While this behavior could be perceived as selfish, it is quite the opposite. SUPers are just recognizing the potential danger a larger wave boasts and are protecting the destitute from hurting themselves. “They probably don’t even have health
insurance,” the SUPers are altruistically thinking.
4. They are the ultimate watermen. SUP surfers prove themselves time and time again to be impressively aware, uber-conscious watermen. Especially the ones who have only learned to surf on a stand up paddle board. They really do a bang up job of educating themselves on the basic principles and accepted etiquette of surfing, and they are super conscientious about following it. It’s just incredibly considerate.
5. They dress cooler. I particularly love the booties/shorts combination. Being out of the water, up on the deck of their vessel, SUPers have more of an opportunity to utilize head wear and accessories. Pieces of flare, if you will–and I trust that you will, because you seem pretty cool. I saw a SUPer at one of my favorite points the other day who was wearing a sick flap hat, surf shades, a beaver tail top buckled over the front butt of some seriously rad ****ing board shorts and vibram toe shoes to top it off. It rendered me, in a mere wetsuit, a peanut butter and jealous sandwich.
6. They’ve got serious steeze. Watching a SUPer in a cool outfit soul arch straight into shore as they plow over poor people is the embodiment of grace under pressure. SUP surfers are instinctual super athletes and watching them ups everyone else’s surf game.
@late starter,
Thanks for the tips. Going to do my best to keep the Love flowing!!!
Select to expand quotesurfershaneA said..
@late starter,
Thanks for the tips. Going to do my best to keep the Love flowing!!!
You and countless others :)
Might give the budgie smugglers a go and sunnies, Oh hang on Peter (grubby) McCabe and Gerry Lopez already set that trend back in the day .... damn it 
This has made my day. Brilliantly written and, without doubt, the funniest thing that I have ever read on the sup forums. I'm still laughing .
....and I hope it hits home to those who need some perspective. 
Quote of the week/year: "SUPers are the true soul surfers, paddling with nothing but reverence and consideration in their hearts for all the penniless paupers who splash around in the squalor beneath them." Classic!
Select to expand quoteStev0 said..
Quote of the week/year: "SUPers are the true soul surfers, paddling with nothing but reverence and consideration in their hearts for all the penniless paupers who splash around in the squalor beneath them." Classic!
They're not penniless, they've scraped enough to buy a speed bump.
But I do love the way the paupers follow like a flock of sheep when you don't want to be seen with them, obviously wishing to bathe in reflected glory.
It's called evolution. We started off grovelling around with the masses until we got to the stage where we could rise above the throng of sightless plebs and rose above them all to soar like eagles surveying our endless domain and conquering all who lay before us. 
Select to expand quoterockmagnet said...
It's called evolution. We started off grovelling around with the masses until we got to the stage where we could rise above the throng of sightless plebs and rose above them all to soar like eagles surveying our endless domain and conquering all who lay before us.
GOLD
