I just joined up to the forum and wanted to say hello! I look forward to reading up more on kitesurfing!

Don't let the windsurfers put you off.

What, there are windsurfers here?

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Craig66 said...
What, there are windsurfers here?

Looks like the windsurfing gods have no sense of humor plus the power of red thumbs
:)

Well you're the first to put "reading" & "kitesurfing" in the same sentence.

Brace yourself.

What's the difference between a windsurfer and an onion,... nobody cries when you cut up windsurfer!

Apply Vaseline
Touch your toes

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Niggle1981 said...
I just joined up to the forum and wanted to say hello! I look forward to reading up more on kitesurfing!

Welcome to seabreeze niggle.

Since you've chosen team teabagging, please collect your mankini at the door and select kitesurfing in the blue section above.

Your fellow cell mates will be along shortly to help you get suited up. Suggest not leaning over whilst getting changed. They may interpret your actions as some form of mating ritual.

Two men, one a windsurfer and one a kitesurfer, arrive at the pearly gates, rang the bell and were greeted by St Peter.
He said “ Before I let you in you must prove to me that you are worthy. We don’t just let anybody into here, we have standards. Tell me what have you done in your lives that will prove to me that you are worthy. Have you been a great scholar, a great leader, a scientist, doctor?”
To each of these the men shook their heads and became more and more fearful.
“OK, what have you done in the past that is in any way worthwhile”
The windsurfer went first. “ I ride the waves. I have spent years perfecting my art.”
“That sounds interesting” said St Peter “We don’t get too many sportsmen up here, we could do with a few more, can you tell me about it?”
“Of course. We ride small boards that have a sail attached. It takes years to perfect our technique. Using God’s gifts of the wind and the seas you fly across the surface. From humble beginnings you struggle to raise the sail on high, it takes months of effort to just leave the land and return without mishap. Years of training are needed until you can be counted as average. But then you start to see the beauty contained in the sport. The feeling of the rushing wind as you fly swiftly across the liquid surface must be experienced to be believed.”
“Go on”.
“We have a vast number of tricks and manoeuvres that can be learned. I had hoped to learn them all but life is just too short. No man can know them all. We even have many variations of the basic turn, carve, step, strap to strap, duck . All subtly different and all take many hours to perfect. With our sport the variations are endless”.
“That sounds very interesting, I’ll have to try it one day, you may enter”.
It was now time for the kitesurfer to put his case.
“We ride a small board attached to a kite to fly across the water”
“That sounds interesting” said St Peter “Can you tell me more?”
“Well, we learn to fly a kite, that takes about a week and then we learn how to ride the board. It is very much like waterskiing but instead of a boat you have the kite. All up it takes about a month to learn. The best part is that after about 6 months they call you an expert”.
St Peter frowned at that but encouraged the kitesurfer to continue.
Excitedly he added ”We have this trick we do that is flying in the air and doing a twirly thing and for variation we can twirl the other way!!!”.
“Is that all???” said St Peter
“Pretty much”
“Oh, I nearly forgot, we always wear our boardshorts over our wetsuits”
“Right, you go to hell!!!”

A SUP'er, a Windsurfer and a Kiter were all sitting around the camp fire telling stories of how extreme and hard they all were.

Started off with the windsurfer telling a yarn about how he rode a massive 50ft round bombie in South Africa, a 100km out to sea in the most shark infested waters. The SUP'er and kiter nod in amazement.

Then the SUP'er tells a tale of how he once snapped his SUP in Brazil and ended up riding a crocodile down a 20ft wave to shore. Once again the other to nod and smile in ore of his story.

So they then turn to the kiter to hear his amazing tale but he doesn't even utter a word, he just stokes the campfire with his penis.

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Gazuki said...

So they then turn to the kiter to hear his amazing tale but he doesn't even utter a word, he just stokes the campfairy with his penis.

Fixed that for you

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theDoctor said..

Gazuki said...

So they then turn to the kiter to hear his amazing tale but he doesn't even utter a word, he just stokes the campfairy with his penis.

Fixed that for you

I didn't know you were there? Still sore?

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Gazuki said..

A SUP'er, a Windsurfer and a Kiter were all sitting around the camp fire telling stories of how extreme and hard they all were.

Started off with the windsurfer telling a yarn about how he rode a massive 50ft round bombie in South Africa, a 100km out to sea in the most shark infested waters. The SUP'er and kiter nod in amazement.

Then the SUP'er tells a tale of how he once snapped his SUP in Brazil and ended up riding a crocodile down a 20ft wave to shore. Once again the other to nod and smile in ore of his story.

So they then turn to the kiter to hear his amazing tale but he doesn't even utter a word, he just stokes the campfire with his penis.

What was he lying in the campfire for?

Why did he have his hand on it while the other two were telling their stories?

Ok I've saved the best joke for last,.. people still windsurf!.. LOL= hilarious!!

So you think it is unbelievably wild and lawless out on the water Niggle1981, it is worse here

Some people have taste , others have opinions and kite.

Windsurfing is alright.. Gives the old geezers something to do..

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dan111984 said..
Windsurfing is alright.. Gives the old geezers something to do..

Less of the old geezers, or i'll wallop you with my walking stick.